海盗电台
你现在正舒服地坐着吗 Are you sitting quite comfortably?
那我就开始了 Then I'll begin.
国内服务台将于六点四十五分 And the Home Service will be on the air at 6:45,
为农民朋友们送上市场报告 with a market report for farmers.
不 不 我是野餐委员会的财务主管 No, no, I'm the treasurer of the Picnic Committee.
财务主管? The treasurer?
回答时请对编导说 不是对我说 Answers, please. Not to me, but to our producer.
再会了! 我们下周见! Cheerio! See you next week!
爸爸 晚安 晚安 詹姆斯 快去睡觉吧 Good night, Dad. Good night, James. Straight to bed.
妈妈 晚安 晚安 詹姆斯 睡个好觉! Good night, Mum. Good night, James. Sleep tight!
现在就把灯关了吧 Off with the lights now, please.
现在是晚上9点 地球上那些无聊的家伙们 It's 9:00 at night and the dull dudes on the planet
已经穿着拖鞋 在抿他们的雪利酒了 are sitting in their slippers sipping their sherries,
但是热爱摇滚的人们 but the people who love to rock and to roll
已准备好再一次 are ready to ride the rock 'n'
乘上摇滚的云霄飞车了 roller-coaster once more.
您正收听的是摇滚电台 我是伯爵 我正期待着你 You are listening to Radio Rock and I'm the Count, and I'm counting on you
因为我们即将疯狂倒数 as we count down to ecstasy
进入整日整夜的摇滚派对了 and rock all day and all of the night.
还要多久? 马上到了 她就在这儿 How much longer? No time at all. There she is.
她在哪儿 Where she is?
就在那 There she is.
我是来见昆汀的 来吧 来 I'm here to see Quentin Come, come.
进来 Enter
卡尔? 是的 Carl? Yes.
我最喜欢的教子 My favourite godson.
我们以前见过吗? 应该没有吧 Have we met before? I don't think so.
不 因为那段大萧条的缘故 No. There was a lost decade,
我总得再仔细想想 so I always have to check.
你妈妈还好吗 她很好 How's your mum? She's fine.
暂时不是那么喜欢我 Not over-fond of me at the moment.
她是个很迷人的女人 She's a very attractive woman.
呃 我... 不 是真的 Well, I... No, seriously.
对你来说 她是你妈妈 I mean, to you, she's your mum,
可对像我这个年纪的人来说 but to people of my age,
她就是性感女神 she's a sexual legend.
那么... So...
被开除了? Expelled?
没错 因为什么? That's right. What for?
我猜是因为吸烟吧 I suppose smoking was the clincher.
毒品还是香烟? Drugs or cigarettes?
两个都有 Well, both.
干的不错 Well done.
为你骄傲 Proud of you.
你妈妈把你送到这儿来是希望 So your mum sent you here in the hope
一点清爽的海风能把你纠正过来? that a little bracing sea air would sort you out?
差不多吧 那就大错特错了 Something like that. Spectacular mistake.
不过 如果你没淹死的话 But, if you don't drown,
我们至少可以帮你戒烟 戒毒 we can at least help you to give up smoking and drug-taking.
我刚吸了点 现在感觉好多了 I just have and I feel so much better for it.
香烟? Cigarette?
不 谢谢 No, thank you.
大麻呢? Spliff?
打扰了 伙计们 我来介绍一下我的教子卡尔 Excuse me, everyone. Could I introduce Carl, my godson?
欢迎加入 我是伯爵 什么都得听我的 Welcome aboard. I'm the Count. I must be obeyed.
很荣幸 It's an honour.
嗨 卡尔 Hi, Carl.
不要错过傻瓜西蒙的无敌周日光波 我是西蒙 Don't miss Simple Simon's Super Sunday Smashes. I'm Simon.
所以我才这么说 That's why I just said that.
嗨 我是安格斯 "笨瓜" 纳茨福德 Hi, I'm Angus "The Nut" Nutsford.
嗨 我是约翰 负责收集新闻和信息 Hello there. I'm John, News and Information Gathering.
你好 我是菲丽西提 Hi, I'm Felicity.
怎么有女孩子... 我是同性恋 I didn't think girls were... I'm a lesbian.
负责厨房的 Who cooks.
好的 吃一块吐司吧 Of course. Have a piece of toast.
我能吃块巧克力吗 别碰那些 我刚刚排好的 Could I have a Mars? Don't touch those, I've just arranged them.
你...知道蕾丝是什么吗 Do you... Do you know what a lesbian is?
我当然知道 很有趣 是吧 I do. Fun times, eh?
有人要吐司吗 吐司? Anyone, toast, toast?
我是呆瓜凯文 I'm Thick Kevin.
你可爱的室友 太棒了 我是卡尔 Your delightful roommate. Great. I'm Carl.
名字不错啊 为什么叫呆瓜凯文呢? Cool name. Why Thick Kevin?
我不是... 因为他真的很呆瓜 I don't... It's 'cause he's really, really thick.
这位是戴夫 This is, of course, Dave.
哇 Wow.
很大 但是很美 Big, but very beautiful.
欢迎光临爱之船 Welcome to the Boat of Love.
知道吗 如果上帝是DJ的话 他一定在这电台里 You know, if God were a DJ, he'd be on this station.
摇滚电台! Radio Rock!
我们来点音乐吧 我讨厌这么安静 Let's have a tune, I'm sick of this silence.
刚才听到是未杀进上周排行榜的歌曲 And that was the sound of someone who missed last Sunday's chart show.
不要太疯狂 砰自己脑门一枪 Don't go mad and shoot yourself in the head.
请收听傻瓜西蒙的节目... Listen to Simple Simon's show...
为什么我找不到我的唱片了? Why am I queuing up my own records?
当我在游泳的时候 一只松鼠从我边上游过 While I was swimming, I passed by a squirrel.
我刚把唱片机的按钮弄下来了 I just broke the knob off the record player.
我们开始吧 我快要憋不住了 Let's do it right now. I'm busting for a wee.
一个小按钮 我喜欢 A small knob. I like it.
我说 "松鼠先生 你为啥游泳的时候脸朝上呢" I said, " Mr Squirrel, why are you swimming on your back?"
找到了 Voila!
"哦 我脸朝上游是为了不让我的坚果受潮" "Well, I swim on my back to keep my nuts dry."
我太激动了! 好吧 我开玩笑的 I'm on fire! All right, I'm out.
现在是2点40 你可能还在学校里吧 You're probably still at school, it's 20 to 3:00.
或者你旷课了 不管怎样 都没关系 Or you might be bunking off, in which case, good on you.
卡尔? 是的 Carl? Yes.
感觉怎么样? 很不错 谢谢 How you doing? Quite good, thank you.
你紧张吗 有一点 Are you nervous? A little bit.
到这来 过来 到那去? Come over here. Yeah, come over here. There?
来啊 Come on.
欢迎 转过身 Welcome. Turn around.
现在滚出去吧 Now get the fuck out.
好了 周二娱乐之夜现在开始 准备好了... Okay, so the Tuesday night of fun starts here. We're ready...
我们准备就绪 大家过来 We're ready. Gather 'round.
兴奋 兴奋 兴奋 兴奋 Steam, steam, steam, steam.
好吧 那么两支队伍就是戴夫和伯爵 Okay, so the teams are Dave and the Count
对年轻的卡尔和呆瓜凯文 versus Young Carl and Thick Kevin.
怎么样? Okay?
别担心 不是因为我傻才叫我呆瓜凯文的 Don't worry, it's not because I'm actually thick that I'm called Thick Kevin,
这只是一个绰号 it's just a nickname.
没错 那么 谁想先来呢 That's right. So, who wants to go first?
你来猜吗? 我来猜吧 Wanna guess? I'll guess, fine.
好吧 谁来? 大坏蛋戴夫 All right, who's going? Big Bad Dave.
不准偷看 30秒时间开始! No looking. 30 seconds starting from now!
简单 你的总统 Easy. Your president.
什么? 你的总统 What? Your president.
林顿·约翰逊 对了! Lyndon Johnson. Yes!
他写了雾都孤儿 查尔斯·狄更斯 He wrote Oliver Twist. Charles Dickens.
快 快 快! Go, go, go, go, go, go!
太好了 滚石的主唱 Lovely. Lead singer of The Rolling Stones.
米克·贾格尔 答对了 Mick Jagger. Yes.
是一个间谍 007 对了! 邦德 詹姆斯·邦德 Is a spy, 007. Yes! Bond, James Bond!
那个扮演他的演员 And the actor who plays.
"你好 我是詹姆斯·邦德" "Hello, I'm James Bond."
那个扮演007的 肖恩·康纳利 The actor who plays 007... Sean Connery.
没错! Yes!
快 快 抓紧时间 你好 我是一只甲壳虫 Quickly, quickly. Time, time, time. Hello, I'm a Beatle.
我是甲壳虫成员之一 时间快到了 不不不 I'm one of the Beatles. Time, time, time, no, no, no, no.
那个不能算 本来不会犯规的 That one doesn't count. That was gonna be good.
现在是6比0 我感觉这次会很好 That's 6 to 0. I feel good about this one.
别想了 好吧 Forget it now. Well, all right.
准备好了 Ready to rock.
对于凯尔 你要跳出思维的框架 Okay, the thing about Kev is you gotta think outside the box.
跳出框框 他准备好了 Think outside the box. He's ready to rock.
别想那个框框 30秒时间 开始! Forget about the box. Thirty seconds from now!
加油! 你能做到的 Go! You can do it.
这是一种鸟 但是它带着帽子 It's a type of bird, but it's wearing a hat.
太有才了 他只是太紧张了 Fucking genius. He's just nervous.
也算不上是帽子 Not so much a hat.
就是外套上的那种 连着外套的东西 Something that's at the top of a coat and attached to the coat
可以把头遮住 但不算是一个帽子 and covers the head, but is not a hat.
兜帽? 是的 然后他的名字 是一种鸟 A hood? Yes, and now first name, type of bird.
叫什么兜帽 罗宾汉! It's a something hood. Robin Hood!
你为什么不说他住在舍伍德森林 Why didn't you just say he lived in Sherwood Forest
拿着弓和剑呢? and has a bow and arrow?
是吗? 什么? 你在说谁啊? Yeah? What? Who are you talking about?
罗宾汉 Robin Hood.
这我倒不知道 倒计时 I didn't know that. Counting down.
好吧 等下 不 好难的题目 Right, hang on, no. Tricky one.
就像他中风了一样 It's like he's having a stroke.
很好的家伙 Nice guy.
很好的家伙? 是的 很好的一个家伙 Nice guy? Yes, very nice guy.
很好的人 就这样了? Really nice guy. Is that it?
不 他有很多朋友 有很长的头发 No. Has lots of friends. Has long hair.
啊! Ah!
吉米.亨德里克斯? 不 比他老很多 Jimi Hendrix? No, much older.
没穿鞋 我知道这个 No shoes. I know this.
很好的家伙 长头发 没穿鞋 Nice guy, has long hair, doesn't have any shoes.
想想 Think about it.
一定是... 就像看着婴儿溺水 Must be... It's like watching a baby drown.
穿着礼服 Wore a dress.
礼服? 穿礼服! Dress? Wore a dress!
最好不要是耶稣 This had better not be Jesus.
对了 耶稣 当然了 Yes, Jesus! Obviously!
真棒! Rock on!
你为什么不说他是上帝之子? Why didn't you say he was the Son of God?
是吗? Was he?
现在还有最后一件事情需要讨论 Now, there is one final matter to discuss.
海盗电台 天哪 Pirate radio. Goodness.
这问题归哪个部门管? 是我管的 首相先生 In whose department does this fall? That would be me, Prime Minister.
有什么计划吗 阿里斯泰尔先生? 他们很流行啊 What's the plan, Sir Alistair? They're very popular.
而且他们并没有触犯任何现有的法律 And they're not actually breaking any law that we know of.
我们会在在一年之内把他们关掉 We're going to shut them down within the year.
他们代表着肮脏 不负责任的商业化 They are a sewer of dirty and irresponsible commercialism
还有低下的品德 and low morals.
没错 Indeed.
很好 我就全权交给你了 Very well. I leave it in your capable hands.
感谢您的信任 首相先生 Thank you very much, Prime Minister.
各位辛苦了 Thank you all.
一小时后再和各位分享完全报道 Full news again in one hour with me,
我是约翰·梅福特 现在交给这位 John Mayford. Till then, this man.
这是一个约定 This was the deal.
我问过你们大家 让我做一件很愚蠢的事情 I asked all of you to demand of me to do a very foolish thing,
你们写信给我 说了无数个想法 and you sent in ideas in their millions.
但是有一个脱颖而出 But one idea has defeated them all,
所以我很自豪地宣布 我很快会成为在英国的 so I'm proud to announce I will soon be the first person to say the "F" word
摇滚音乐电台里第一个说F字开头的人 on rock 'n' roll radio in the United Kingdom of Great Britain.
不是为了冒犯谁 只是纯娱乐性质的 But my aim is not to offend, it is to entertain.
不过也许会有些教育意义 But also, perhaps, to educate a little.
如果你射出一颗子弹 有人会死 Because if you shoot a bullet, someone dies.
如果你投下一颗炸弹 很多人会死 When you drop a bomb, many die.
如果你打了一个女人 爱就会消逝 If you hit a woman, love dies.
但如果你说了F开头的字 什么都不会发生 But if you say the "F" word, nothing actually happens.
现在准备好 为你们特别奉上 F开头的字 So here it comes. Especially for you, the "F" word.
不过首先 让我们来段美妙的音乐 First, though, this very fine piece of music.
你不能这么做 为什么? 只是一个字! You can't do this. Why not? It's just a word!
主意很棒 但有个小问题 Charming thought, but here's the simple situation.
当局已经对我们没好感了 The authorities already dislike us.
如果你这么做 他们会恨我们 If you do this they will hate us,
他们会不惜一切代价把我们关掉 and by hook or by crook, they'll find a way to close us down.
他们不可能关掉我们 我们是海盗 They can't close us down. We're pirates.
这就是我们身处在惊涛骇浪中的原因 That's why we're sitting out here in the middle of the freaking ocean.
相信我 他们会找到法子的 政府憎恨人民自由 Believe me, they will find a way. Governments loathe people being free.
好吧 Okay.
好吧 我考虑一下 Okay, I'm thinking about it.
我亲爱的同胞们 我有一个不好的消息 My dear comrades, I have some sad news.
权威已经下令封杀了F开头的字 The powers that be have decreed that the "F" word is a word too far.
但至少现在 即使我们对自由的憧憬 But at least for now, even though our dreams of freedom
已经胎死腹中 have died a tragic death,
冬青树(英伦摇滚乐队)依旧继续 the Hollies are still alive.
谢谢 Thank you.
我不知道你为什么那么做 我只是想说一次"操" I don't know why you did that. I was just gonna say "fuck" once.
只是一个小小的"操" You know, one tiny little "fuck."
没有什么小小的"操" There's no such thing as a tiny little "fuck."
有啊 你可以问问安格斯的女朋友 Yeah there is. You should ask Angus' girlfriend.
尽管如此 再如何小的一个"操" Be that as it may, there's no "fuck" so small
都会把我们毁了 it won't fuck us up.
将来有一天 在梦想的世界里 One day, in a world of dreams,
你们可以随心所欲地说"手淫" you'll be able to say "wank"
或者"扯淡"甚至是"鸡巴" 但是"操" 永远不行 or "bollocks" or even "cock" on the radio. But "fuck," never.
不好意思 我的大人 怎么了 哈罗德? Excuse me, my Lordship. Yes, Harold?
你工作室的麦忘记关了 You've left your mike up in the studio.
是真的了 So I have.
我想向所有的听众道歉 I do apologise to everyone out there
因为那四个...或许是五个F开头的字 昆汀? for the four... Or was it five "F" words, Quentin?
冬青树 继续为大家送上 The Hollies will continue undisturbed.
我很抱歉 昆汀 但是你知道 I'm so sorry about that, Quentin, but you know,
我觉得你听起来不错 I thought you sounded good.
你迷人的嗓音很适合电台 You have a lovely voice for radio.
滚蛋 Fuck off.
这是第六个了 昆汀 That makes it six, Quentin.
这真是再好不过了 我个人觉得 It couldn't have turned out better, in my opinion.
好吧 早上好啊 早上好啊 早上好 请坐 Right. Good morning, good morning, good morning, good morning. Please sit down.
海盗电台 很好 很好 很好 Pirate radio stations. Good, good, good, good, good.
我已经向总理报告 Now, I have told the Prime Minister
我们会在12个月之内把它们关掉 that we will shut them down within 12 months.
您也看到了 先生 As you will see, sir,
目前他们并没有触犯任何法律 先生 they're not in fact outside of the law at the moment, sir.
他们很快就会了 不是吗 你是... Then they soon will be, won't they, Mr...
费德里克斯 费德里克斯 Fredericks. Fredericks.
这就是政府的意义 You see, that's the whole point of being the government.
你不喜欢什么 If you don't like something,
就出台一项新的法令让它变成违法的 you simply make up a new law that makes it illegal.
说起来 这位... 费德里克斯 Speaking of which, Mr... Fredericks.
费德里克斯 什么 先生? Fredericks. Yes, sir?
我们也应该为你的头发 I think we might also start working on legislation
出台一项新法令了 to outlaw that haircut of yours.
您不喜欢吗 先生 没人会喜欢 除了瞎子 You don't like it, sir? No one likes it. Apart from blind people.
即使是路过你身边 And I'm sure even they can
也能感觉到这发型的极度丑陋 sense its profound ugliness as it passes by.
我会给你一天时间处理你的头发 I'll give you a day to deal with the hair,
以及两个礼拜对付那些海盗们 再见 and a fortnight to deal with the pirates. Goodbye.
C小姐 正如我所猜想的 一群废物! Miss C, as I suspected, totally useless!
叫那个新来的机灵鬼过来! 是的 先生! Send me that clever new chap! Certainly, sir!
我有一个任务给他 我们得要搞一些破坏 I have a job for him. We have some damage to do.
大家早上好 欢迎收听傻瓜西蒙的早餐时段节目 Good morning, everybody. You're listening to Simple Simon's Breakfast Show
中波203频道 on 203 metres in the medium waveband.
你是今晨收听爱之船的2300万听众之一 You're one of 23 million people listening to the Boat of Love this morning.
等不及到周六了? Looking forward to Saturday?
周六是什么日子? 周六! 激情澎湃的周六! What's Saturday? Saturday! Sensational Saturday!
你可能注意到了 这艘船上很不幸的没有女人 As you may have noticed, there are, unfortunably, no women on this boat,
除了菲丽西提... 嗨! apart from Felicity... Hiya!
...可她还是同性恋 ...who is of the lesbionic tendency.
不过每隔一个周六 But every second Saturday,
每个DJ都可以邀请一个女孩上船 each DJ is allowed to invite one girl onto the boat.
那么 你有没有想要邀请的人呢 So, any idea who'll you'll invite?
天哪 God.
是不是可能会有一些... Presumably there's a sort of presumption that there'll be...
性之类的事情 必须的 Sex, of some sort. Every time.
没错 那算了吧 Yeah. Then no.
我以前一直上男子学校 I've spent my life at all-boys' schools.
最接近亲吻的事情还是 The closest I've ever come to a snog
有次被一匹马舔了下脸 is when I was once licked on the face by a horse.
听起来还不错 一匹马? Sounds good, actually. A horse?
真为你感到难过 卡尔 我的孩子 I'm sorry to hear that, Carl, my son.
我真心想要帮你 I would seriously like to help.
我会替你留心的 I will put my mind to it.
孔雀小姐 你怎么安排的啊? Miss Peacock. How are you lined up, eh?
她的名字叫达芙妮 她喜欢有胡子的男人 Well, her name is Daphne. And she likes the bearded man.
的确如此 而且生殖器很小 She does, indeed. With a tiny knob.
管你怎么说 Whatever.
我的家伙是很小 真的 I've got a tiny knob, actually.
但我很喜欢啊 But I rather like it.
这意味着我可以穿小一点的内裤 It means I can wear smaller underpants.
不知所云 我完全听不懂 Don't know what that means. I didn't understand any of that.
其他的呢... What about other...
上面那个家伙是谁啊 我还没见过他呢 Who's that guy up there? I haven't met him yet.
那是马克 That is Mark.
他是全世界最性感的男人了 沉默寡言 He's the sexiest man on the planet. Hardly ever speaks.
甚至在广播的时候都是如此 很有意思 Not even when he's broadcasting, which is interesting.
他就是传说中的午夜马克 So that's Midnight Mark.
谢谢 Thanks.
哇 Wow.
现在... Now...
你有伴儿吗? 不 不 今天没有 You not got anyone? No. No, not today.
我想...我是在寻找我的"真爱" I guess I'm really... I'm looking for that "one true love" thing.
是啊? 是啊 没错 绝对的 Really? Yeah. Yeah. Big time.
你明白我的想法吗 我明白了 You dig the dream? I dig the dream.
是啊 这个想法真不错 Yeah, it's a good dream.
她们来了 她们来了 Here they come. Here they come.
她们来啦! There they are!
哇 Wow.
妈啊 Wowzer.
噢 偶滴神啊 整整一船的美女 Oh, my God, it's like a boat of honey.
我想和她们所有人睡! I wanna sleep with them all!
嗨 欢迎上船! Hi. Welcome aboard!
转个身! Do a twirl!
我想要大醉一场 I need a big drink.
我也同意 我们走吧 I agree. Let's leave.
好了 快点 上去 Right, hurry, up the steps.
不介意我叫你们相同的名字吧 Do you mind if I call you guys by the same name?
双胞胎很难分清的 Twins can be very confusing.
这其实是一本很有趣的书 This is actually a very interesting book.
是吗? 是的... Is it? Yes, it's...
我爸爸以前收集啄木鸟的 My father used to collect woodpeckers.
真的吗? 是啊! 才怪 Really? Yeah! No.
不 我爸爸曾是个建筑师 No, my father was an architect.
你老爸呢 他是做什么的 How about you? What did your father do?
他和我老妈睡过之后就离开了 Well, he had sex with my mum
名字地址什么都没留下 and then left without leaving his name or address.
不是吧 就是这样 No. Yeah.
不会吧! 挺好的 No! It's cool.
我...不会想念从未拥有过的东西 I... You don't miss what you've never had.
没有计划啊 各位? Nothing planned, you guys?
不 没有 没有 No, no. Well, yes.
我和我性生活又一个静谧的午后 Another very quiet afternoon for me and my sex life.
充满怨念的屋子 The sad room.
过来 Come here.
我是过来帮你脱离苦海的 I've come to get you out of your predicament.
什么苦海? What predicament?
这哀怨的一切 The whole sad act.
既没女朋友 老二又小的可怜 No girl, unused pencil-sized penis predicament.
你说的是这个啊 That predicament.
跟我来 Walk this way.
不要跟他去 Don't walk that way.
不 我只是想... 跟着啄木鸟走 No Well, I'm just gonna... Walk woodpecker way.
好吧 好吧 这也许能行得通 Okay. Okay, it might work.
但在道德上是不正确的 But one, it's morally wrong.
是吗 是的 Well, I mean, is it? Yes.
再说万一没成功 And two, it might not work.
我岂不是成了世界上最糗的傻子了 In which case I'm gonna be the biggest idiot in the world.
你说的都有道理 但换个角度看 All this is true. But on the other hand,
这可能是你生命中最美妙的五分钟 it could be the best five minutes of your life.
你听到了吗? 那是命运在敲门 You hear that? That's destiny knocking.
快进去 Get in there.
对不起 女孩儿们 对不起 妈妈 Sorry, girls. Sorry, Mum.
噢耶 医生正饥渴呢 Yeah. The Doctor is hungry.
进来吧 宝贝儿 Come on in, baby.
这是什么? 酒 What's this? Alcohol.
你想把我灌醉 是吗 我当然想啦 You're trying to get me drunk, are you? Of course I am.
过得怎么样啊? 嗯 你很好 How you been? Yeah, you're all right.
我要拉开爱情炸弹的引信 I need to pull the pin on the love grenade.
来吧 Please do.
轰 Boom.
我觉得... I think...
我觉得我们应该把灯关掉 I think we should turn the lights off.
一定要这样吗 我喜欢一直看着你 Do we have to? I like to see you when I'm with you.
我不能在灯光下嘿咻 太不自然了 I can't make love in electric light, it's unnatural.
相信我吧 我可是医生 Trust me, though, yeah? I'm a doctor.
好吧 一 二 三 Okay. Un, deux, trois.
我们来吧 Let's do this, yeah?
来 别把靴子脱了 Come on. Keep your boots on.
别把靴子脱了 Keeping the boots on.
这下好了 虽然不是那么好 There we go. Although, not quite good enough.
行了 漆黑一片 There. Pitch black.
嘿! Hey!
你是个很难懂的男人 多谢夸奖 You are a very complex man. Thank you.
你...你能等我一会吗 Will you... Will you just excuse me for a second?
你去哪儿? Where are you going?
我想我们应该做些预防措施 I think we should take some precautionary measures.
别担心 我吃药了 Don't worry, I'm on the pill.
不过我还是想出去透透气 I still think I'd like to freshen up, though.
好吧 快点回来 好的 Okay. Hurry back. I will.
你在干什么? What the hell are you doing?
我只是觉得先把牙刷了会好些 I just thought it'd be nice if I brush my teeth first,
但是我没有牙刷 所以我借了... but I didn't have my toothbrush, so what I did was I borrowed...
不 我是说你为什么还不脱光啊 No, I mean, what the hell are you doing still dressed?
你觉得我应该把衣服脱了吗 当然了 Yes, do you think I should get undressed? Yeah.
我不能赤身裸体地出去 I can't walk out of there stark-bollock naked
然后又穿好衣服进来吧 and walk back in fully clothed, can I?
好吧 那行 Fine, okay, fine.
聪明点 好的 Think smart. Right.
你确定里面够暗吗 是的 伸手不见五指 You sure it's dark enough out there? Yes, it's pitch black.
就算是教皇也能干了她 她不会发现的 The pope could walk in and poke her, she would never know.
我要是再壮点就好了 为什么 I just wish I was a bit bigger. Why?
因为你比较壮啊 'Cause you're beefy, you know?
我能进来吗 我要小便 好 等一下 等一下! Can I come in? I need to wee. Yeah, hang on, hang on!
马上好 One second.
这里! 下面 快! 赶紧...快啊! In here! Down there. Hurry! Just... Hurry up!
进来 Come in.
你在这儿干什么啊? What are you doing in here?
男人的秘密 我听到动静了 Private man things. I could hear voices.
DJ们经常自言自语练习行话 Disc jockeys are always practising our patter.
天哪 你真的好壮啊 Gosh, you're quite chunky, aren't you?
是吗? 的确如此! Am I? I mean, yeah!
我想我是的 女孩们似乎都很喜欢啊 Yeah, I suppose I am. The girls seem to like it.
我就是喜欢你这点 你是一只美丽又干净的小鸟 That's what I like about you. You're a nice clean bird.
你是这么想啊 That's what you think.
别! No!
别啊 不要 不要这么做 No way. Don't... Don't do that.
不要擦干你的手 我... Don't dry your hands, I...
我喜欢女孩子... I love a girl with...
手湿湿的 Wet hands.
你真的很奇怪 You are strange.
那你想要直入正题吗 Do you want to get down to it, then?
只要给我一秒钟时间 Just give me a second, will you?
我不知道你是不是能看见 I dunno if you can see,
我后面的臼齿上粘了一个奶油杏仁糖 but I've got a bit of nougat lodged in a molar at the back.
快点哦 小男孩 我会的 小女孩 Well, hurry up, lover boy. I will, lover girl.
色狼 Casanova.
块头的问题怎么办 她说你很壮 But what about the size thing? She said you were chunky.
放松 只要找到正确的位置 Relax. Just find the right position
然后在她发现之前搞定就可以了 and it will all be over before she realises.
要迅速 我想你可以很确定 Just be quick. I think you can be pretty sure
我会很快的 I'm gonna be quick.
我在你身上看到我的影子 过来 I could see a lot of myself in you. Come here.
这是一个很特别的时刻 It's a very special time.
裤子 Trousers.
我可以做到的 只是我不知道在哪儿... I can do this. I just don't know where...
嘿 看着我 享受 好好享受 Hey, look at me. Enjoy it. Enjoy it.
我不是一个处男 去吧 I'm not a virgin. Okay.
我有点犹豫了 卡尔 I'm having second thoughts. Carl.
这是你的命运 This is your destiny.
嘿 大男孩 Hello, big boy.
哦 走错房间了! 对不起 No, wrong room! Sorry.
进来吧 Come in.
先生? 是的 Sir? Yes.
简历很不错嘛 多谢夸奖 先生 Very impressive references here. Thank you, sir.
很特别的名字 Very unusual name.
特沃特?(Twat是傻瓜的意思) Twatt?
有两个T的? 你听过海盗电台吗 特沃特 And that's with two T's? Have you heard of pirate radio, Twatt?
就像摇滚电台 先生? 对 和摇滚电台一样 Like Radio Rock, sir? Indeed, exactly like Radio Rock.
听过吗? 很少听 Ever listened to it? Not often.
我不是一个很喜欢流行的人 我喜欢古典音乐 I'm not really a pop person. I prefer classical music.
哦 谁不喜欢古典呢? Well, who doesn't?
那些听摇滚电台的人吧 先生 The listeners of Radio Rock, sir?
没错 Precisely.
还有我们伟大祖国的那些吸毒者 The drug-takers and the law breakers and the bottom-bashing fornicators
犯罪者和社会底层的荒淫之人 of our recently great country.
给你一个小小的任务 Well, here's your little task.
我要在一年之内把这个摇滚电台关了 I want Rock off the air in 12 months,
我希望你做我的秘密武器 and I want you to be my private assassin.
有人不见了! Someone's gone!
不 我不要这个 No, don't want it!
好吧 All right.
但是她做了这件绝妙的事情 but she did this wonderful thing,
她把一点番茄酱放在了... where she put a tiny bit of ketchup...
嗨 Hi.
抱歉 伙计 但你是哪位啊 Sorry, man, but who are you?
鲍伯 Bob.
思慕斯·鲍伯 Smooth Bob.
鲍伯·西尔沃 黎明踏浪者 Bob Silver, the Dawn Treader.
我是做很早的那档清晨节目 I do the early, early, early morning show.
你是鲍伯 You're Bob.
是的 老好人鲍伯 Yeah. Good old Bob.
你在船上呆了多久了啊 鲍伯 How long have you been on the boat, Bob?
七个月 每天早上3点到6点 Seven months. Every morning, 3:00 a.m. to 6:00 a.m.
那我们怎么从来都没见过你呢 Well, then how come we've never met you?
我喜欢自己一个人 Well, you know, I keep myself to myself.
每天睡很久 A lot of sleep.
还嗑很多药 Fair amount of drugs.
完全沉浸在唱片之中 A total immersion in the vinyl, you know?
要满足听众的需求 就需要听音乐 Gotta listen to the music if you're gonna give the people what they need.
深入听众的心灵 是吧 In their heart and their soul. Yeah?
还是回去听音乐好了 因为 Better be getting back to the sounds, 'cause
在这边有些激动 it's a bit hectic in here.
那就是鲍伯? 老好人鲍伯 So that's Bob? Good old Bob.
那就是鲍伯 怪人鲍伯 That's Bob. Wry Sir Bob.
他叫什么来着? What was his name again?
不是吧 Really?
年轻人 办的怎么样了 So, young man, how's it going?
先生 我想我可能有一些小突破了 Well, sir, I think I may have had a little breakthrough.
海盗电台站只有靠卖广告才得以生存 The pirate stations only exist because they sell advertising.
是的 你可以听我们的流行乐 Yes, you can listen to our pop music,
但前提是你要买芬达猫牌的冻鱼条 but only if you also buy Findus Frozen Fish Fingers.
没错 当下我们立马要做的就是 Exactly. So what we can do immediately
使电台为英国公司做广告的行为 is make advertising on the stations illegal
变成违法的 for British companies.
这样就能切断船上所有的资金来源 We would cut off the boats' cash with one fell swoop.
太棒了 Brilliant.
我喜欢你 特沃特 I like you, Twatt.
都不要吹哨子了 伙计 我们在聊天 Stop blowing the whistle, man, we were chatting.
我有一个很重要的事情要宣布 你们或许知道了 I have a very important announcement. As you may know
政府已经对我们的广告赞助商 there has been a serious squeeze put on our advertisers
做了严格的规定 by Her Majesty's Government.
这个表 谢谢 约翰 This chart, thank you, John,
显示了我们这几周来广告来源的巨大变化 displays what's been happening to our advertising revenue in the last few weeks.
噢 所以我不得不打破自己 Ouch. So, I've had to stir myself
静谧闲适的生活 from my traditional languor
想方设法让电台能吸引到新的商业伙伴 and do something to make the station more attractive to new commercial partners.
两年之前 发生了一件很糟糕的事情 Two years ago, something terrible happened,
我们失去了海盗电台最伟大的DJ 他去了美国 and we lost the greatest DJ pirate radio has ever known to America,
因为野心 还有酒精中毒 ambition, and alcoholic poisoning.
然后又发生了一件好事 And then something wonderful happened
作为回报 我们拥有了一位从美国来的DJ and we got, in return, from America,
事实证明他非常能干 完全能掌控这艘大船 a man who proved more than capable of filling those enormous shoes.
伯爵万岁 只是尽绵薄之力 Love our Count. I do my humble best.
现在 朋友们 我又要好消息了 And now, my friends, I have good news.
坏消息 先生 特大好消息 Bad news, sir. Very good news.
您听过加文·卡瓦纳吗 Have you ever heard of Gavin Kavanagh?
没有听过 No, I have not.
他可能是史上最有名的流行音乐主播了 He's possibly the most famous popular music broadcaster ever.
没错 一个奇怪又神秘的传说 他怎么了? Indeed, a strange and mysterious legend. And what about him?
先生 他决定... 回来了 Well, sir, he's decided... To return.
哇! 不是吧! No! Stop it!
哦 我的... Oh, my...
三周之后的今天 加文·卡瓦纳将重返摇滚电台 Three weeks today, Gavin Kavanagh returns to rock on Radio Rock.
那么? So?
那么说来 关掉电台更加迫在眉睫了 So, it is more important than ever to actually close the stations down.
否则那些广告赞助商会争着回来 Otherwise the advertisers will simply flock back
而且从国外投资 and pay their bills from abroad.
我们下一步该怎么做呢 Well, what are we going to do, then?
先生 我们要直击要害 We go, sir, for the jugular.
接下来这首歌要献给世界上最酷的人 And this next song is dedicated to the coolest man in the whole of the world,
而他即将踏上这艘船了! and he's about to step onto this boat.
他就是伟大的加文·卡瓦纳 他绝对是本周之星! It is gorgeous Gavin Kavanagh, and this week he's definitely number one!
昆汀 Quentin.
这胡子不错 Like the beard.
你一定是伯爵 And you must be the Count.
我就是 I am he.
那我是什么了 国王么? I wonder what that makes me, the king?
或者是小丑? 很高心见到你 甜心 Or the clown? Nice to meet you, sweetheart.
这位是? 菲丽西提 and you are? Felicity.
规矩改了? 我是蕾丝 Rules changed? I'm a lesbian.
赞! 一直还是大多情况下? 当然是一直 Groovy! Always or mostly? Absolutely always.
这只是你说的 不! 别这么做 So you say. No! Stop that.
现在 带我去麦克风那 我要播音啦 Now, take me to my microphone. I need to broadcast.
我们走! Let's go!
你在做什么见不得人的事吗 Are you doing something dirty?
你在背着父母做什么坏事情? Are you doing something your parents don't know about?
你正在犯法吗 Are you breaking the law?
你打破陈规了吗 Are you breaking the rules?
打开你的双腿 感受着微风 Open your knees and feel the breeze,
因为加文正式回归了 because Gavin's back to stay.
现在只有我和你 Now it's just you and me,
你短裙下的春光尽入眼底 and I'm looking right up your skirt.
感觉真是太棒了 That feels so good.
太爽了! That feels wonderful!
听听这个 Listen to this.
它会让你"兴奋" This will make you moist.
学着点 孩子们 学着点 Watch and learn, kids, watch and learn.
巴迪·霍利(美国歌手和词曲家) Buddy Holly.
这是加文 让这个国家高潮不断! This is Gavin, tweaking the nation's nipples!
明天与你相会 So, join me tomorrow,
届时我会在此送上最纯粹的摇滚乐 when I'll be playing definitive rock 'n' roll here on Radio Rock.
来了的时候记得想着我 Think of me when you come.
现在交给乔利·约翰 And now it's over to Jolly John.
带来更多的杀人 强奸以及绑架新闻 For some more murders, rapes and abductions, it's the news.
午间新闻 The news at midday.
在伦敦... In London...
特沃特 C小姐 要害找到了么? Twatt, Miss C. How is the jugular going?
进展很慢 先生 Slowly, sir.
我听说随着卡瓦纳先生的回归 Yes, I hear the arrival of Mr Kavanagh has been followed
又涌先出更多新的电台了 我的老天 by the finding of a rash of new stations, for God's sake.
是的 先生 两周内把问题解决 Yes, sir. Sort it out in a fortnight.
在法律上找一个漏洞 Find me a loophole in the law
我就可以把它们全变成违法的 so that I can make them all illegal
不然你们俩就滚蛋吧 or you are both fired.
我说滚蛋 不单指你们会丢掉这个饭碗 And when I say fired, I do not only mean that you will lose your jobs.
而是你们以后再也别想拿饭碗了 I mean that you will never work again.
你们这些糟糕透顶 极度可悲 You disastrous, pathetic
丑陋的小卒子 ugly nobodies.
要害 他大爷的! Jugular, my arse!
再来几首"探索者"吧?(澳洲流行乐团体) How about a little bit more Seekers?
哈罗德 我刚刚把另外一个也放上去了 Harold, I've just put another one straight on.
双重探索 两个! Double Seekers! Two!
你想见我? You wanted to see me?
没错 卡尔! Yes, Carl!
你的生日马上要到了 我还没给你准备礼物呢 Your birthday is coming and I haven't got you a present yet.
这很难啊 要给一个身无分文的人什么好呢? It's difficult. What do you give the man who has nothing?
没错 是挺困难的 Yeah, it's tricky.
经过我的深思熟虑之后 我决定给你 So, after deep thought, what I've decided is to give you
一段美好的时光 a nice time.
我邀请了我的侄女玛丽安 明晚到船上吃晚餐 Tomorrow evening, I've invited my niece, Marianne, to dinner.
她是这世界上最甜美 漂亮的女孩了 She is the sweetest and prettiest girl in the world.
这里是午夜马克 It's Midnight Mark here.
嗨 Hi.
你好 Hello?
午夜马克 Midnight Mark.
卡尔 晚上好 Carl. Good evening.
这位就是玛丽安 This is Marianne.
嗨 Hi.
你已经说过一遍了 You already said that.
没错 Yeah.
可以稍等我一下吗 Could you excuse me for one second?
戴夫 嗨 嗨 Dave. Hi. Hi.
我能否借一个... Could I borrow a...
一个套子? A condom?
当然可以 Sure.
好啊 年轻的小卡尔 Well, well, well, Young Carl.
你知道这个怎么用吗? Do you know how it works?
废话 我当然知道了 Of course I bloody know how it works.
卡尔 Carl.
他们让我自己一个人掌舵 They made me steer the thing myself. Alone.
你做到了? 嗯 我一定是 And you did? Yeah. I must be
所有人里最没经验的 昆汀在吗? the most inexperienced person... Is Quentin around?
还真不在 他刚走 No, actually, you just missed him.
天啊 一个女人 Oh, my God. A woman.
不仅仅是个女人 And not just a woman.
有史以来最美丽最鲜嫩欲滴的女人 The most beautiful and succulent woman in the history of mankind.
戴夫 这是玛丽安 Dave, this is Marianne.
戴夫 你好! 我是你的粉丝! Dave, hello! I'm a real fan!
谁不是啊? Who isn't?
总之 很高兴认识你 神奇的玛丽安 Well, it's lovely to meet you, Miraculous Marianne.
你讲法语吗? (法语) Parlez-vous franqais?
不讲 不 我也不讲 No. No, me neither.
我现在明白你为什么要套套了 什么? I can see why you wanted that condom. What?
好了 晚安 Well, well, night-night.
他刚才说什么? What did he just say?
"晚安"? 不 之前那句 "Night-night"? No, before that.
我没听清 I didn't quite catch it.
他是说 "我现在明白你为什么要套套了"吗 Did he say, " I can see why you wanted the condom"?
我没听见他这么说啊 I did not hear him say that.
我听到了 I did.
我只能得出一个结论 And the only conclusion I can draw from that
那就是你以为我很容易上所以才去借套套 is that you thought I was going to be so easy that you borrowed a condom.
不是的 No.
那还能得出什么别的结论? Then what other conclusion can I then draw?
好吧 Okay.
的确是这样的 对不起 It's true. And I'm sorry.
只是从我见到你的第一刻开始 It's just that the first moment I saw you,
我立马就爱上了你 I fell in love with you, instantly,
所以我就想 and I thought that,
如果我能比全世界的男人都幸运 if I got luckier than any man has ever got,
而我又没有套套的话... it would be a tragedy if I didn't have...
岂不是很悲剧 A condom.
我知道这么想很恶心 很不对 I can see how that was just sick and very wrong,
所以我要从我兜里把套套拿出来 and so I'm gonna take the condom out of my pocket
然后把它扔进北海 and I'm throwing the condom into the North Sea.
你看 我已经这么喜欢你了 You see, I already adore you.
我希望有一天我们能结婚生孩子 I hope one day we'll get married and have children.
谢谢 Thank you.
过来 Come here.
恐怕我们真的需要那个套套 I think we're going to need that condom.
戴夫 你还有多余的套套吗? Dave, you don't have another condom?
抱歉 兄弟 那是最后一个 我给你的那个怎么了 Sorry, mate, it was my last. What happened to the one I gave you?
说来话长 Long story.
问问加文 Try Gavin.
谢了 Thank you.
等我一分钟 这是我的屋子 Okay. Just one minute. This is my room.
在这儿别动 我马上回来 You should stay here, and I'll be back,
还有 凯文 我能看见你 知道啦 and Kevin, I can see you. All right.
晚上好 晚上好 Evening. Good evening.
你有没有... You don't have any...
不 不太可能 No, probably not.
继续 Carry on.
谢谢 加文 太感谢了 不要紧 年轻人 Thank you, Gavin, I really appreciate it. Don't mention it, youngster.
记住 温柔点 同时要有力 一定要有力 Remember, be gentle, but be firm. Very firm, indeed.
用完之后拿到水龙头底下冲冲 下次再用 And when you're done with it, run it under the tap, rinse it out, use it again.
她去哪儿了? Where is she?
玛丽安? Marianne?
宝贝 Baby.
噢 不 Oh, no.
噢 不! Oh, no!
嘿 小家伙 Hey, kid.
嘿 你还好吗? Hey, how you doing?
我能看见你 玛丽安 I can see you, Marianne.
请进 Enter.
先生 两个星期过去了 Sir. The two weeks are over,
恐怕我没法帮你找出任何漏洞 and I'm afraid I haven't really been able to find you a loophole.
太可惜了 What a shame.
那就放弃别管了 和你那可悲的父亲一样 Time for you to move on, then, like your sad little father.
不过我帮你找到了一个陷阱 But what I have done is find you a noose.
我这里有一份报告 I have a report here
写着上星期来自渔船的求救电话 that says that last week the distress call of a fishing boat
没有接收到是因为被摇滚电台的电流干扰了 wasn't heard because its radio waveband was blocked by Radio Rock.
人们濒临死亡 而我们无能为力的原因 Men were dying, and they couldn't be saved
就是这个色情摇滚文学 because of this rock 'n' roll pornography.
先生 我认为我们只欠东风了 I think, sir, we have our smoking gun.
的确很不错 Very good, indeed.
那个渔民最后死了吗? 没有 先生 Did the fishermen die in the end? No, sir.
太可惜了 That's a pity.
我想我还找到了一个可以上船的方法 I think I may have also discovered a way of actually getting on the boat
以便我们更"深入"的调查 to do some more "intimate" research.
做得好 特沃特 谢谢 先生 Well done, Twatt. Thank you, sir.
我们手里攥着他们的命根子 We have their testicles in our hands.
这滋味真不错 And it feels good.
今天是伟大的周一 It's magnificent Monday
我们200名可爱的获胜者正在前往摇滚电台 and 200 gorgeous competition winners are heading straight for Radio Rock.
女士们先生们 欢迎来到我们的福佑之船 Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to our Boat of Bliss.
你好 早上好 Hello. Morning.
我们没迷路 早上好 We're not lost. Morning.
只是这船很大... 早上好 Just quite a big boat... Morning.
这里就是厨房 And this is the kitchen.
如果天气不好 我们就吃这个 And this is the food we eat if the weather's bad
不过我们没法从码头拿到新鲜的 and we can't get it fresh from shore.
罐头食品 Tinned food!
这是我们的厨师 菲丽西提 大家好 And this is our cook, Felicity. Hi!
她是个拉拉 对 我是 She's a lesbian. Yes, I am.
你好 我能帮上你吗? Hello. Can I help you?
嗯 你好 我有点迷路了 Yes, hello. Got a bit lost.
不止一点吧 More than a bit.
要是想到这儿 你得打开一扇很沉的门 In order to get here, you have to open a really quite heavy door
上面写着"闲人免进" with the words "No Entry" on it.
我没有看到 当时门可能是敞着的吧 Well, I didn't see that, so it must have been left open.
你看起来太拘谨 不像是这船上的粉丝 You look suspiciously square to be a fan of this boat's output.
不 不 我的确是忠实粉丝 希望如此 No, no, no, I'm a real fan. I hope so.
如果有传言说你是来监视我们的 Because if word gets out that you're here to spy on us,
恐怕你的蛋蛋就保不住了 I think you may have trouble hanging on to your testicles.
你在威胁我吗? Are you threatening me?
你猜怎么着 我想我是的 Do you know what, I think I am.
因为我的直觉一向很准 而你看起来又像个傻蛋 Because I've got pretty good instincts and you look like a twat to me.
给我滚出去 Get out of here.
所有人15分钟之内离船! Everyone leaves in 15 minutes!
欢迎回来 希望你们都度过了美好的时光 Welcome back. I hope you've all had a tremendous time.
只是有件事很奇怪 这里看起来 The only slightly odd thing is there seem to be about
比刚才少了一半的人 half as many of you as there were earlier.
如果你们稍等一下 If you give us a moment,
我们马上就查清楚这桩离奇的事件 we will sort out this strange and mysterious situation.
女士们 嘿 昆汀 今天很忙啊 Ladies. Hi, Quentin. Busy day.
看出来了 不过恐怕现在该离开了 So I see. But I rather fear now is the time to move on.
你们愿意的话可以都回我的房间 You can all come back to my room, if you like.
后面那个女生? 没戏 Girl at the back? No.
别妄想了 纳茨福德 Give it up, Nutsford.
你都查到什么了? So, what did you find out?
船本身的情况已经很糟了 The boat itself is in very bad condition.
很好! Good!
也就是说 如果他们想逃离或者换地方 Which means if they ever try to get away or even move,
都走不了多远的 they won't get far.
太好了 圆满完成任务 Bravo, mission accomplished.
说说看 特沃特 计划是什么? So tell me, Twatt, what's the plan?
我认为我们应该努力拉拢公众舆论 I think we should work to get public opinion on our side.
然后等到1月1号 我们使海盗电台完全非法化 Then, January the 1st, we make pirate radio totally illegal
理由是他们危及到了这个国家勇敢的 on the grounds that they are endangering the lives
航运员的生命 of the brave men and women
而航运业正是这个国家的经济 of the nation's shipping community, upon whom the economy
和炸鱼店的主要支撑来源 and fish and chip shops of the country depend.
如果他们反抗法律 我们就把他们铲除 And if they try to defy the law, we take them out.
太完美了 Splendid.
我认为可以起名为违抗海运法 I think we can call it the Marine Offences Act.
违抗海运法 我喜欢 The Marine Offences Act. I like it.
我认为女王也会喜欢的 And I think the Queen will like it, too.
他们的脖子已经拴在绳子上了 We have them on the ropes.
天 我最爱绳子了 God, I love ropes.
改天你一定要过来吃晚饭 认识一下我家人 You must come over to dinner sometime. Meet the family.
这个送给来自伍尔弗汉普顿的艾瑞卡 And that was for Erica from Wolverhampton.
现在是收信的时间了 Yes, it's mail time.
嘿 兄弟们 Hey, guys.
嘿 西蒙 能帮你干点什么? Hey, Simon, what can we do for you?
卡尔 我的兄弟 Well, Carl, my mate,
我最好的兄弟 我有消息要说 my best mate, I've got some news.
我不知道我为什么在唱歌 I don't know why I'm singing.
我都不能... 我的话就随着曲子出来了 I can't even... My words are just coming out in tune.
我太开心了 如果现在我是伯爵 I'm so happy. If I were the Count right now,
我肯定就要用脏字 I would definitely be using the "F" word
来形容我有多兴奋了 to describe the level of this good news.
抱紧我! 抱紧我! 到底怎么了? Hold me! Hold me! For what?
我要结婚了! I'm getting married!
和一个女人! To a woman!
你他妈的说什么啊? 我要结婚了 You're fucking doing fucking what? I'm marrying.
替我搞她一次! 我不会的 And give her one for the Nutster! I won't.
她叫什么名字? What's the lovely lady's name?
艾丽诺尔 艾丽诺尔 Elenore. Elenore.
嗯 她是美国人 Yeah, she's an American.
我希望你们都明白这意味着什么吧? Well, I hope you all appreciate what this means?
从下星期六开始 这艘船上有史以来 From next Saturday, there will, for the first time,
有一个女人居住了 be a woman living on the boat.
没有冒犯的意思 No offence meant.
没事 我其实也挺兴奋的 None taken. I'm actually quite excited about it.
没你的份 你个拉拉 当心啊! Hands off, you lesbian. Watch out!
盯着你呢 Eye on you.
当然了 艾丽诺尔只属于她幸运的老公一人 But Elenore will, of course, be totally exclusive to her lucky husband.
希望各位先生们能够理解 Here, I hope you gentlemen can take it.
只属于我一个人的 For my eyes only.
现在昆汀走了 我得说一句 May I just say, now that Quentin has departed,
在我看来 现在唯一重要的一个词? one word which I believe is the only word in the world that now matters?
这个词就是... And that word is...
婚姻 Matrimony.
单身汉派对! Stag!
没错! 耶! Yeah! Yeah!
派对 派对 派对! 派对 派对 派对! Stag, stag, stag! Stag, stag, stag!
太棒了! Fantastic!
是雄鹿 (Stag也雄鹿的意思) It's a stag.
我以为你被割了呢 他没事 他好着呢 I thought you were having a seizure. He's okay. He's fine.
你们认识多久了? So how long have you guys known each other?
两个星期 没错 是常说的一见钟情 Two weeks. Yeah, it's the old proverbial thunderbolt.
我就在那儿 自顾自的 喝点小酒 There I was, just minding my own business, having a quiet drink.
然后这个金发美女就过来了 Over trots this blonde bombshell.
在我反应过来之前 有很多... Before I knew it, there was quite a lot of...
耶! Yeah!
很多吻 Lot of kissing.
然后呢? 不 And then? No,
恐怕我们俩都是很崇尚 I'm afraid we're both big believers in the whole
"婚前无性行为"那一套的 "not before the big night" thing.
太变态了 这不变态 That is sick. It's not sick.
为什么? 我只希望咱们的船够结实 Why? I just hope that the boat is solid.
当晚将要释放出来的性爱能量 The sexual energy that will be unleashed that night
肯定会把船底板烧一个大窟窿的 will blow a hole in her blooming side.
我明白你的感觉 I know how you feel.
我的床单就像尼加拉瓜大瀑布一样 It's gonna be like Niagara Falls under my sheets.
我的肯定也是 为什么? Yeah, my sheets, too. What?
我们要去哪儿 伯爵? 我们要去 Where are we going, Count? We are going
我们真正该去的地方 exactly where we should be going.
酒吧! Pub!
夜总会! Club!
不 不 不 不! No, no, no, no!
住手 别这样 住手 Stop, stop, stop. Don't do it. Stop, stop, stop
我爱你 I love you.
我要结婚了! I'm getting married!
我感觉昨晚喝得有点过头了 I think I might have had a bit too much to drink last night.
你呢? 没 我还挺好的 What about you? No, I'm in good shape.
其实 我觉得酒精让我的头脑更清醒 In fact, I find alcohol rather sharpens my mind.
真的吗? 真的 Really? Yes.
我一直在想 危险 And I've been thinking. Dangerous.
你妈把你送到这儿 想来让你走上正道 It's a bit queer that your mum sent you here
实在是太糟糕了 to get on the straight and narrow,
因为这是世界上最没法让你走上正道的地方 when this is obviously the worst possible place in the world to do that.
这里全是性 毒品 和酒精 There's sex and drugs and alcohol.
没有性 我的理论是你在这里 Without the sex. My theory is that you're here
是因为这正是让你这种年轻人 because it's exactly the right time for a young man like you
认识自己的父亲时候 to get to know his dad.
然后呢? And?
我由此推测你父亲肯定在这艘船上 I therefore think that your dad is on this boat.
既然他肯定不可能是我 And since he's definitely not me,
我觉得应该是昆汀 I think he's probably Quentin.
有时候 有时候而已 Sometimes, just sometimes,
我觉得我应该叫聪明凯文 I think I should be called Clever Kevin.
你觉得呢? What do you say to that?
今日头条 今天下午2:45分整 And top news of the day. At 2:45 precisely this afternoon,
西蒙·斯沃福先生 榜单之王 Sir Simon Swafford, king of the charts,
和这个世界上最美丽的女孩结婚了 marries the prettiest girl who ever lived.
我只是想让你们知道 我向你们保证 I just want you to know, I want to assure listeners
这并不意味着我不爱你们了 that this doesn't mean that I have any less love for you.
每天早上我依然会在这里 I'll still be here every morning.
唯一的区别就是 我会很高兴 The only difference will be, I'll be happy.
天啊 她来了 Oh, my God. Here she comes.
大日子 大日子! Big day. Big day!
我不应该看的 I shouldn't look.
各位来宾 我们在上帝的祝福下 Dearly beloved, we are gathered here
在这里欢聚一堂 这很显然 in the sight of God, apparently,
其实挺恐怖的 which is scary,
来见证这个男人和这位 to witness the wedding of this man and this
完美的女神的婚礼 total goddess.
只有耶稣自己才知道她为什么要嫁给他 Jesus Christ alone knows why she's marrying him.
好样的 但爱情 Good one. But love is,
是奇怪的 根据艾佛力兄弟敏锐的观察 as the Everly Brothers so wisely observed, strange.
现在新娘脸红了 新郎正望着她的眼睛 And the bride is blushing now as the groom is gazing into her eyes.
你甚至能看到丘比特在空中挥舞着翅膀 You can almost see Cupid fluttering his wings above their heads.
不 好像是个海鸥 No, that was a seagull.
闭嘴 纳茨福德 Shut up, Nutsford.
伴郎 你们的戒指呢? Best man, have you got the rings?
我拿着呢 I have.
谢了兄弟 Thanks, mate.
好了 There you are.
多么美好啊 How lovely.
我现在正式宣布你们为新郎 和惊艳的新娘 I now declare you man and stunning wife.
好温馨啊 So sweet.
你现在可以亲吻新娘了 可怜的女孩 You may now kiss the bride, poor girl.
没错 横扫而过 Yes, the full sweep over.
不要 拿着 天啊 No, take it. God.
你拿着 You have it.
伴娘去哪儿了? Where's those bridesmaids?
我是风流鬼纳茨福德 在新婚夜之后的早晨 It's Nutty Nutsford here, the morning after the night before.
嘿 嘿! Hey. Hey!
怎么样? So how did it go?
嗯... It...
我想会好起来的 当时... I think it will get better. You know, it was...
她很累 She was tired.
我有点太兴奋了 I was a little overexcited,
当时...说实在的 有点太风驰电掣了 it was... If I'm honest, it was a bit quick sticks.
不过没必要一晚上就做完 对吧? 对吧? But we don't need to blow it all on one night, do we? Do we?
不 来日方长呢 第二回合开始 No. We've all the time in the world. Round two.
祝你好运 谢谢 Good luck. Thanks.
嘿! 嘿 宝贝 Hey! Hey, babe.
你看起来就像个独角兽 You look like a unicorn.
穿着睡衣 In a negligee.
斯沃福太太怎样了? 挺好的 很好 好极了 How is Mrs Swafford this morning? Good. Good, very good.
我给你端了茶来 I've brought you some tea.
不要? 我不喜欢茶 No? I don't like tea.
那我自己喝了 I'll drink it myself.
西蒙 我有事和你说 Simon, I've got some news.
不 别告诉我... No. Don't tell me...
你已经怀孕了 是吗? You're pregnant already, aren't you?
我就知道会这样 斯沃福们都太彪悍了 I knew this was gonna happen. The Swaffords have always had strong stuff.
不 不是的 No, it's not that.
不是我不想要小孩 我想要的 Not that I don't want babies. I do.
我想要一大堆孩子 等我完事的时候你就垮了 I want a dozen. You'll be in bits by the time I'm done,
但我的意思是 我们应该先享受 but, you know, I thought that we could have a few more years
几年的云雨激情 然后再搬到宝宝街上 of reckless shagging before we settle into Baby Boulevard.
西蒙 我坠入爱河了 Simon, I'm so in love.
你当然是了 Of course you are.
加文真的太完美了 Gavin is so fantastic.
是吧? 他不就是最好 最酷的男人么? Isn't he? Isn't he just the greatest, the coolest guy?
没错 他是的 那就是为何我那么爱他的原因吧 Yes, he is. I guess that's why I'm in love with him.
小考拉 刚才你说你爱他的时候 可能我... Koala bear, when you said that you were in love with him, there might be...
需要翻译一下 你是什么意思? Translation. What do you mean by that?
呃 我... Well, I...
是认识你之前的一个星期 我认识了他 I met him about a week before I met you
然后我就爱上他了 and I fell in love with him.
但他说我能留在船上的唯一办法就是结婚 But he said the only way that I could be on the boat was if we got married.
不过很显然 他不会那么做的 And he wouldn't do that, for obvious reasons.
所以我就提议说我和另外一个DJ结婚 So I suggested that I could just marry another DJ,
这样我就能留在船上了 and that way I could still be on the boat.
他说这样太疯狂了 He said that was a mad idea.
然后我就遇见了你 But then I met you.
我看到你一个人孤伶伶地坐在酒吧里 You know, I saw you sitting all alone in that pub
所以我就趁此机会... and I just leapt at the opportunity and...
现在 我就在这儿了 Well, now, here I am.
如果你同意的话 今晚我就搬到加文那里去了 And if it's okay with you, I'll be moving in with Gavin tonight.
谢谢你这么善解人意 Thanks for being so understanding.
但我没搞明白 But I don't understand.
我不是解释过了吗 But I just explained.
我遇到了加文 然后爱上了他... See, I met Gavin and we fell in love and...
不 那段我明白 我里里外外都明白了 No, I get that. I understood all... I get the ins and outs of it.
我不明白的是你怎么会如此残忍 What I don't understand is how you could be so cruel.
我们才刚刚结婚 你读一下那个... I mean, we're just married, if you read the...
昨天 Yesterday.
我们本应该共度余生的 And we're supposed to spend the rest of our lives together.
我们会的 以另一种方式 但我们会的 只不过... We will, in a way. We will, we will. It's just...
只不过我每天晚上都和加文做爱 而不是和你 I'll be having sex with Gavin instead of you every night, and...
但我们依旧是朋友 But we'll still be friends.
如果你需要我 我就在隔壁门 If you need me, I'll be right next door.
好吗? Okay?
做爱? Having sex?
希望如此 Hopefully, yes.
你可能会听到我们 You might hear us.
那真是太好了 That would be nice.
根据可靠消息 我们很不幸地宣布 Official sources were today sad to announce
西蒙·斯沃福和他的妻子艾丽诺尔 the separation of Simon Swafford and his wife, Elenore,
在结婚后的17个小时正式分居了 after 17 hours of marriage.
事实证明他们的分开是因为音乐上的分歧 It is understood the split is due to musical differences.
不 不 我不能相信 No, no, I can't believe
你要离开我 You're leaving me
留在我身边 宝贝 Stay with me, baby
求你了 留在我身边 宝贝 Please, stay with me, baby
留在我身边 宝贝 Stay with me, baby
这位主播每日都为你送上榜单热曲 Here's the guy who plays all the hits.
他就是 就是 就是 傻瓜西蒙·斯沃福 It's, it's, it's Simple Simon Swafford.
现在时间是早上7点09分 And the time is now 7:09 in the a.m.,
你现在收听的是傻瓜西蒙·斯沃福的节目 and you're listening to Simple Simon Swafford Show
来自摇滚电台 中波203频道 on Radio Rock, 203 metres on the medium waveband.
时刻牢记 朋友们 扮酷很不简单 And remember, folks, it ain't simple being cool,
但傻一点也无所谓 but it's cool being simple.
摇滚电台 Radio Rock.
你有什么可说的吗 混蛋? Well, what do you have to say, bastard?
别这样 公平点 又不是我让她这么做的 Come on, be fair. I didn't ask her to do it.
我跟她讲了 一点可能都没有 现在她也走了 I said to her, it's absolutely not on and now she's left,
走了 离开了这艘船 再也不会来了 she's gone, she's left the boat, she's not coming back.
我真的不知道我哪里做错了 I honestly can't see what I've done wrong.
我能说什么? What can I say?
这是摇滚的阴暗面 It's the dark side of rock 'n' roll.
我能问你一件事么? Can you tell me one thing?
今天早上她走之前 你们...你们没有... Before she left this morning, did you... You didn't...
你知道的? You know?
就一小下 Just one little pop.
那漂亮妞儿经历了这么多 I thought it was the least I could do
我想那是我唯一能做的事了 after all the trouble the lovely girl had gone to.
西蒙 等等 Simon, wait.
我们真的不能怪他 是吧? 不 可以的 Can't really blame him, can we? Yeah, you can.
先生 你听说过越南战争么? Mister, you ever heard of the Vietnam War?
听说过 那么 I have. Well,
那场大屠杀的起因仅仅是因为一次小冲突 that holocaust is simply a playground skirmish
你也马上就要体验到了 next to what you're about to experience.
我向你宣战 I'm declaring war.
占-戈 你死定了 W-A-R. Gonna tear you apart.
我亲爱的听众们 My dear listeners,
你们应该也注意到了一片僵持的局面 you may have noticed a certain cooling of the relationship
在高尚的酷伯爵和一个叫加文的家伙之间 between His Royal Highness, the Count of Cool, and a guy called Gavin.
我迫不及待的想让全世界知道他是个懦夫 Well, I'm eager to show the world that he is a coward.
所以我提议我们来玩一个 So I'm suggesting something
在我家乡很具有意义的游戏 that's pretty big where I come from,
这个游戏叫做"胆小如鸡" and it's a game called "Chicken."
谁攀的最高谁就赢 The man who climbs furthest is the victor.
胜者为王 May the best man win.
败者为鸡 And the biggest chicken lose.
准备好了吗? Are we ready?
那就开始吧! Then let the ascent commence.
加油 伯爵 加油 往上攀 Come on, Count. Come on. Up you go.
为了美国 先生 Climb for America, sir.
希望她值得你这么做 她很值得 Hope she's worth it. She definitely was.
卧槽 Fuck.
加油 伯爵 加油 伯爵 Come on, Count. Come on, Count.
老天啊 帮帮他! For God's sake. Help him!
好吧 Okay.
这个...这已经挺高的了 It's... It's getting pretty high now.
我估计现在是时候该... I suppose there might be an argument that it's time for a...
该停下来反思一下了 A moment of reflection.
真像一只五星级的糯米鸡 Spoken like a five-star chicken.
他们干嘛呢? 我只是想放你一马的 What are they doing? Just trying to help you out.
别这样 伙计们 别犯傻了 Come on, guys, don't be stupid.
点到为止就行了 你们已经证明了自己 Enough is enough, you've proved your point.
我们应该做点儿什么! We should do something!
老天啊 停下! For God's sakes, stop!
他只不过是上了别人的老婆 All he did was have sex with someone's wife.
对不起 西蒙 不是针对你个人 Sorry, Simon, don't take it personal.
如果你摔下来 就死定了 If you fall, you will die.
我的天啊 Oh, my God.
那么 Well,
改主意了? changed your mind, then?
改什么主意了? 说我是懦夫 About what? About me being a chicken.
问这个干嘛? Why do you ask?
因为我们到头了 Well, we've reached the top.
然后呢... And...
到顶了 It's the top.
但这还没完 But it's not the end.
还没完? Isn't it?
没有 先生 No, sir.
上帝啊 卧槽 Christ. Fuck.
离边缘远点儿 你个白痴 这太疯狂了 Step away from the edge, you silly bastards. This is madness.
你们俩疯了! 都疯了! You're nuts! You're nuts!
我想说 最终能爬上桅杆的即是胜利者了 I think, at the end of the day, mast climbing is the winner.
我他妈怎么这么肥! Why am I so fucking fat?
你现在还有什么想说的? 我想说 What do you say now? I say,
我头一眼看人就知道他有没有胆儿 I know a chicken when I see one,
现在我正盯着一个没胆儿的家伙 and I'm looking at one right now.
再见了 我的朋友 Adios, amigo.
有人落水啦! Man overboard!
操! Fuck!
我对西蒙一点好感也没有! I don't even like Simon!
你个哭包 Cry-baby.
哭包! Cry-baby!
扯淡的吧 Bollocks.
你要干嘛? What are you doing?
南无阿弥陀佛 Wop-bop-a-Ioom-a-blop-bam-boom.
蜜糖我来啦! Tutti-frutti!
大不列颠的各位先生们女士们 Ladies and gentlemen of Great Britain.
亚伯拉罕·林肯说过 要衡量一个人的品格 Abraham Lincoln once said, "It is the measure of a man
要看他能否勇于承认自己的错误 "that he can admit when he's wrong."
而我这次错得太离谱了 And I have been catastrophically wrong.
我也想借此机会 向我亲爱的朋友致歉 I'd also like to take this opportunity to apologise to a dear friend of mine,
西蒙 Simon.
最终 Finally,
船上的生活又恢复了平静 everything onboard is gonna be just fine.
各位注意 这是最后一个球了 所以大家注意了 Everyone, this is our last ball, so please be careful.
凯文 你发球 快点 凯文 Kevin, it's your kick-off. Kevin, come on, Kevin.
白痴! 笨蛋! Idiot! Idiot!
把他的裤子扒了 抓住他! Get them trousers off. Get him!
我看到你的蛋了 笨福德 I can see your nuts, Nutsford.
在篮球史上第一次 For the first time in the history of basketball,
由英国队对阵美国队 the United Kingdom of Great Britain will take on the United States of America.
来吧 放马过来 Come on, come on.
耍赖! Cheat!
你确定把他扔下水能让他立马学会游泳? Sure throwing him in is the best way to get him to learn how to swim?
绝对的 那好 Absolutely. Okay.
仔细想了下 这也许只适用于儿童 On second thought, it might just be for kids.
我触不到底啦 是的 那样就对了 I can't touch the bottom. Yeah, that's right.
如果把一个婴儿丢下水 Throw a baby in,
他出于本能能自然浮在水面上 那很美 it floats. Instinctively, naturally. It's a beautiful thing.
救我 如果你丢下一个成年人 Come on. I think if you throw in an adult,
那就不管用了 再见啦 doesn't work that way. Goodbye.
真心话大冒险 Deprivation.
好的 太好了 Yes. Yeah.
我们开始吧 从你开始 大家安静了 Let's do it. Your highness, s'il vous plait.
好的 Yes.
好了 Okay.
我要打倒你们这些英国佬 我从来没有幻想过 I've got you limeys beat. I have never had a sexual dream
跟一个皇室成员发生关系 featuring a member of the Royal Family.
跟我一样的人 举手 Raise your hand if you have been as equally deprived.
玛格丽特公主 玛格丽特公主 Princess Margaret. Princess Margaret.
好的! 六分全拿 Yes! The full six puntos.
不错 全中 菲丽西提 该你了 Good. Full house. Felicity.
我从没有跟男人发生过性关系 I have never had sex with a man.
来赌一把 我从没想过发生这样的事 Risky one. I didn't think that was the road to go down.
见鬼 Damn it.
好吧 很明显 那是在学生时期 谁没有过啊? Okay, it was at school, obviously. Who hasn't?
我 我们都没有过 Me. All of us.
你们这些人除外 好吧 只做过一次 Besides you guys, okay. It was just once.
他叫杰克曼 And his name was Jackman.
当然他叫杰克曼 是的 Course his name was Jackman. Yeah.
你们可以笑我 实际上他就像神一样 You can laugh. But actually, he was something of a god.
我打赌他是的 住在第五富人区 You know, I bet he was. In the Upper Fifth.
第五富人区? 是的 In the Upper Fifth? Yes.
在第五富人区生活得像神一样? 是的 He was a bit of a god in the Upper Fifth? Yes.
好吧 杰克曼 Okay. Jackman.
我很好奇 很抱歉 看来你只能拿到一分了 I was curious. Sadly, it means you only get one point.
一分 菲丽西提一分 One point. One point for Felicity.
不错 不错 Well done. Well done.
看看他那双电眼 好了 Look at his doe-eyedness. Okay.
加文·卡瓦纳先生 Mr Gavin Kavanagh.
好的 我这个会有点奇怪 Right, bit of a strange one this.
我从来没跟女孩约会过 I've never been on a date with a girl...
等等 Wait, wait.
然后做爱之后 我觉得她不会注意到我... And, after sex, thought she wouldn't notice if I let go a little
会放几个小屁 bit of wind.
我就放了 Did so,
然后突然意识到 我不是在放屁 and realised it wasn't wind...
是我拉了 It was diarrhoea.
所以我再也没有跟我心仪的女生 So I've never been in bed with a girl of my dreams
上过那张沾满大便的床 with poo all over the sheets behind me.
不会吧 来 没有做过 No. Raise your hands
这件事情的人举手 不可能 anyone who has not done that. No way.
大卫! David!
你个混蛋! You bastard, man!
我谁都没有说起过 你发生过? I didn't tell anyone. You did that?
是的 你怎么处理的? Yeah. What did you do?
恩 我就告诉她 我老婆 Well, I told her that my wife
再过五分钟就要到家了 然后她就走了 would be home in five minutes, so she left.
那你就这样侥幸逃脱了 So you got away with it.
这样的事很难讲清楚 It's a grey area, really.
跟他们说说 Tell them.
问题是 我老婆回来之后... The problem being that my wife then came home and...
我因为这一床屎惹了大麻烦 I got into quite a lot of trouble for pooing in the bed.
是下午4点的时候 At 4:00 in the afternoon.
大便男! Pooper!
华丽的加文时间 Gorgeous Gavin.
是的 太美了 Yes. That was beautiful.
欢迎回到我们的公共电波 We're back on "pubic" air.
中波203频道 摇滚电台 Radio Rock, 203 metres on the medium waveband.
不管怎么样 And whatever you do,
别告诉戴夫医生我讲的那个恶心腹泻的故事 don't tell Dr Dave I told you the infamous poo story.
摇滚电台! Radio Rock!
这里是加文为你们主播 在过去的一年里 It's Gavin here, and what a year it's been.
政府想要在暗中破坏我们电台的计划彻底失败 Government plans to undermine us have failed spectacularly.
实际上 根据最新的民意调查显示 93%的英国人 In fact, a recent poll says that at an election, 93% of British people
投票给了海盗而不是政府 would vote for the pirates rather than the government.
这就是原因 This is why.
我很抱歉 先生 I'm very sorry, sir.
不要担心 特沃特 Don't worry, Twatt.
我们也许在公共关系上失败了 We may lose the public relations battle,
但是我们会赢得最终的战役 but we will win the war.
我们继续进行计划 We shall proceed,
但是你要守口如瓶 but just not tell anyone.
关门打狗是最好的方法 Executions are best done behind closed doors.
马上关掉这鬼东西! Now shut that filth off!
你们和我 安格斯 "笨瓜" 纳茨福德 You're with me, Angus "The Nut" Nutsford.
共度圣诞时刻 It's Christmas time.
卡尔 Carl.
我刚从陆地上得到消息 I just got a message from shore,
你妈妈会过来跟我们一起过圣诞 and your mother is dropping by to pay us a visit for Christmas.
你开玩笑吧? 她什么时候到? You're kidding? When does she arrive?
明天就到 她经常搞突然袭击 Tomorrow. She was always very impromptu.
她真要来? 是的 Was she? Yeah.
不管怎样 你应该想知道这件事 Anyway, I thought you might like to know,
然后提前把头发整理一下 in case you want to brush your hair
或是把架子上的那些黄色杂志给藏起来 or hide the large stack of pornography you keep on that shelf.
摇滚电台祝大家圣诞快乐 Merry Christmas from Radio Rock.
我听说你妈妈要来? 是的 I hear your mum's coming onboard? Yeah.
好吧 代我向她问好 Yeah, send her my best.
跟她说马迪·沃特斯很带劲 好的 Tell her Muddy Waters rocks. Okay.
她会知道什么意思的 是的 She'll know what I mean. Yep.
好 好的 Okay. Okay.
大家好! Ahoy!
上帝 这里好乱 Christ, what a dump.
我希望你会喜欢的 我爱死了 I hoped you'd like it. I love it.
好极了 哥们儿 你老妈可真性感呢 Hey, right on, brother. That's some hot mummy you got there.
帮我准备了吗? You got one for me?
好运 我的朋友 谢谢 Good luck, my friend. Thanks.
妈 Mum,
我讨厌你这样突然来访 I hate to be abrupt.
我能问你一个很严肃的问题吗? Can I ask you a very serious question?
很感人 可以 我听着呢 It's moving. Yes, no, I'm listening.
昆汀他 Is Quentin
是我爸爸吗? my father?
你说什么? I beg your pardon?
你听到了 You heard me.
昆汀是我爸爸吗? Is Quentin my dad?
不 No.
不 他不是 No. He isn't.
不是吗? 不是 No? No.
太好了 Cool.
只是... It was just...
我一直想如果我能有个爸爸该多好 I was just thinking how great it would be to have a father.
真希望他们其中有一个是我爸爸 I'd really like one of those.
你在这里待多久? How long are you here for?
待到圣诞后第二天 然后早上就走 Only Boxing Day. Leaving in the morning.
这是上等的科涅克白兰地 Now this is very good cognac.
是的 现在已经10点15了 Yeah, it is 10:15.
很好 Perfect.
吃火鸡咯 Turkey time.
嘿! Hey!
吼 吼 吼! Ho, ho, ho!
吼你个头啊! Fucking Ho!
谁淘气啦? 我! Who's been naughty? Me!
我们开吃吧! 我想敬 Here we go. I'd like to raise a glass
卡尔的妈妈一杯 好的 to Carl's mother. Yeah.
美丽的夏洛特 那是... Wonderful Charlotte, it was...
一个美妙的夜晚 A shag well shagged
你孕育了这个家伙 当然 当然 the night you made this little fella. Definitely, definitely.
我已经全力以赴了 I couldn't have put it better myself.
从他踏上船的那刻起 我肯定大家都同意 Now, when he came aboard, I'm sure it's all agreed
我们都以为他不过是富贵人家出来的人渣 that we thought he was a bit of a posh tosser.
我那时很讨厌他 他看上去也很讨人厌 I didn't like him. He seemed unpleasant.
我同意 你知道吗? 他现在是我们一家人了 Me neither. You know what? He is now one of us.
是的 没错! Yes, he is!
我们很希望他 We would like him
能永远地留下来 to stay forever.
马上就说完了 凯文 And just to finish off, Kev.
拜托 复活节才穿兔子装 而不是圣诞节 Bless you, rabbits are Easter, not Christmas.
所以人们都说复活节小兔子 That's why they call it the Easter Bunny.
是啊 Right.
我太他妈呆瓜了 是吧? 当然 I am seriously thick, aren't I? You are.
呆瓜凯文! 敬呆瓜凯文! Thick Kevin! To Thick Kevin!
你是最他妈呆的! You're the thickest!
好了 我来讲个笑话 笑话 笑话 笑话! All right, jokes. Jokes, jokes, jokes!
地球上最庞大的哺乳动物是什么? What is the largest living mammal on Earth?
我不知道 地球上最庞大的哺乳动物是什么 I don't know. What is the largest living mammal on Earth?
是蓝鲸 重达150多吨 The blue whale! Weighing over 150 tons.
这是事实 不是笑话 These are facts. These are the fact ones. They're not jokes.
亲爱的 Darling,
我想你准备了笑话的吧 I think you might have a joke.
当然 当然 Yes, yes, yes, yes.
当然 这很有趣 Yes, it's funny.
想来点肉馅饼吗? Would you like a mince pie?
好的 谢谢你 Yes, I would. Thank you.
我们还要进行什么程序? Shall we have another go at the thing?
圣诞花礼炮 先生 是的 还有礼炮 Cracker, sir? Yes, the cracker thing.
嗯 Right.
好的 这一天过得太兴奋了 Well, that's quite enough excitement for one day.
再见了 妈妈 Well, goodbye, Mum.
对了 我们的午夜DJ鲍勃 By the way, our late-night DJ Bob
让我跟你说 sent you a message, which is
"马迪·沃特斯很带劲" "Muddy Waters rocks."
哦 天啊 他没有告诉你吧? 什么? Oh, my God. He didn't tell you, did he? What?
什么? 你说"什么"是什么意思? What? What do you mean, "What"?
你说"哦 天啊 他没有告诉你吧"是什么意思? What do you mean, "Oh, my God, he didn't tell you."
没什么 亲爱的 不 妈妈 肯定有什么事情 Nothing, darling. No, Mum, it's not nothing.
妈 Mum.
真的吗? 什么? Really? What?
别告诉我你跟他睡过? 我当然跟他睡过 Please tell me you didn't sleep with him? Of course I slept with him.
每个人都跟他睡过 那个年代里他绝对迷人 Everybody slept with him. He was absolutely gorgeous in those days.
等等 我们说的鲍勃是一个人吗? Hold on a second. Are we talking about the same Bob?
是这里的午夜DJ吗? 是个大胡子邋遢的怪物吗? This is the late-night DJ here? The beast with the beard?
好吧 他当年的确是个怪物 但是那时 Well, he was indeed a beast. But at that time,
至少我记得 他是不留胡子的 那是什么时候? as far as I can recall, he was clean-shaven. When?
你是什么时候跟鲍勃睡的? 看在上帝份上 When did you sleep with Bob? For heaven's sake,
别再烦我了好吗? 我也不记得是什么时候了 will you stop badgering me? I don't know when.
你多大了? How old are you?
18岁半 Eighteen-and-a-half.
那就应该是在19年零3个月前发生的了 Well, then it must have been 19-and-a-quarter years ago, then.
差不多吧 Give or take.
好了 我该走了 不然那可怜虫要一直等我了 Anyway, I better go. That poor man's been waiting forever.
很高兴我们能敞开心扉地谈论此事 是吧? I'm so glad we got that off our chest and out of the way, aren't you?
再见 亲爱的 Bye-bye, darling.
告诉马克 那是一个非常美妙的晚上 And tell Mark, you know, that it was a lovely, lovely night.
不! No!
鲍勃 Bob.
啥事? 节目不错 Dude? Great show.
我有一个爆炸性消息要告诉你 I think I've got some pretty big news for you.
太好了 Cool.
我现在心情很好 我想我能接受 I'm in a pretty loose mood, think I can handle it.
我想...我想... I think... I think...
我敢肯定你是 应该是 I'm pretty sure that you are, as it were,
从严格意义上来说 technically speaking,
你是我爸爸 my dad.
你就是那个让我一直思念 等待 并且... You're the man I've been missing and waiting for and...
寻找了一生的人 Searching for all my life.
太好了 Cool.
这是什么? 你就这反应? That's it? That's your reaction?
给我一分钟 Just give me a minute.
达丝蒂司·普林菲德踏着黎明的浪尖 Dusty Springfield there on the Dawn Treader,
为你们送去世上最优雅的白人灵魂音乐 with quite possibly the finest white soul voice in the world.
这个年轻人的确十分擅长吉他 And this is a young man who's really quite good at playing the guitar.
孩子 Jimi.
那么... So...
早安 爵士迷 Morning, hepcats.
嘿 Hey.
嗨 Hi.
有什么事吗? What's new?
没什么 Nothing.
好的 Yes.
好的 好的 好的 Yes. Yes, yes, yes.
好极了 And yes.
晚上好 先生 你好 Good evening, sir. Hello.
在这里签字就好 先生 Just sign it, sir.
三天之后 我们的英雄DJ朋友们 And in three days, our heroic disc jockeys
就会成为一群危险的罪犯 become dangerous criminals.
做得好 特沃特 Well done, Twatt.
这会成为我的一份圣诞礼物 That is my kind of Christmas present.
谢谢你 先生 Thank you, sir.
是的 要彻底废除海盗电台 大家举手表决 Right. Pirate radio abolished. A show of hands.
很好 继续 Good, moving on.
那么 我们必须决定... Now, we have to make up our minds on...
今天英议会下院 In the House of Commons today,
一致通过了反地下广播条案 the new Marine Offences Act was passed unanimously.
从元旦前夜起 From midnight on New Year's Eve,
所有的海盗电台 当然 包括摇滚电台 all pirate radio stations, including, of course, Radio Rock,
都将成为违法的 will be breaking the law.
每一个为其工作的人 Everyone who works on them,
还有那些收听他们节目的人 and indeed everyone who listens to them,
都将视为触犯法律条文的 will be in contravention of the new law
视其情节轻重处以相应刑期 and risk prison sentences, both short and long.
卡尔 Carl.
你没事吧? You okay?
嗯 只是... Yeah, just...
几个月前 我犯了一个很严重的错误 You know, a few months ago, I made a terrible mistake.
是吗? 是啊 Really? Yeah.
但我也意识到一些事情 But I realised something.
我坚持着我的想法... And instead of crushing the thought the moment it came I...
一直没有放弃... I let it hang on and...
现在我知道它会成真了 Now I know it to be true.
恐怕这将让我刻苦铭心 And I'm afraid it's stuck in my head forever.
你的想法是什么? What was the thought?
这是我们一生中最幸福的时光 That these are the best days of our lives.
我难以接受这个事实 但我还是知道了 It's a terrible thing to know, but I know it.
我还不知道 I don't know about that.
好吧 是啊 是啊 Well, yeah. Yeah.
也许你会很幸运 Maybe you'll be lucky.
也许你会过上好日子 但是我很怀疑 Maybe you'll have better days, but I doubt it.
伙计 我们站在了山顶 摔下去也要很长的时间 We stood on top of the mountain, compadre. It's a long way do-be-do-be down.
这天终于到了 The day has come.
今晚 Tonight,
海盗电台结束了 pirate radio dies.
从今晚开始 我们将成为在黑暗冰冷的大海中 From midnight, we are a ghost ship floating without hope
随波逐流的一艘幽灵船 on cold and dark waters.
你们为这里付出了很多 You have done almighty work here.
谢谢你们 Thank you.
但你们的工作 But your work
结束了 is done.
我的还没有 先生 Not mine, sir.
我是一名美国公民 I'm an American citizen,
我不会买你们英国佬的狗屁法律的帐 and I don't give a hootenanny God damn about your nitpicking limey laws.
我打算在这条船上进行24小时全天侯的广播 I intend to broadcast from this ship 24 hours a day
直到我死 until the day I die.
就算死了也要继续坚守着 And then for a couple days after that.
我不想泼你冷水 Not wanting to sound rude or anything,
但是你不觉得这样会 but don't you think that might be
让听众觉得太单调了吗? an ever so slightly monotonous experience for the listener?
我们每人12个小时怎么样 尊贵的先生 What do you say to 12 hours each, noble sir?
我的看法是 The way I look at it,
这个世界离不开我的喜剧 the world couldn't survive without my comedy,
谁来承担起作为道德支柱的责任 and who's going to have the moral backbone
情绪好的时候放探索者的歌? to play the Seekers when the mood is right?
他们破坏了所有事情 They've split up.
我要继续吟唱我们旧的乐章 I intend to celebrate the back catalogue.
我打算阻止你这样做 I intend to stop you doing so.
你们有些人知道 As some of you know,
我老婆在结婚后17个小时后就离开了我 my wife left me after 17 hours of marriage,
但我坚持了下来 因为我为音乐而活着 but I survived that because I live for music.
现在 没有了其他活着的理由 And now, with nothing else to live for,
那就让我为之而死吧 I'm willing to die for it as well.
我一直为新闻和天气活着 I've always lived for news and weather.
也很乐意能为它们而死 Happy to die for them, too.
特别是天气 Especially the weather.
我没别的地方可去 I've got nowhere else to go.
我有容身之处 但那是白金汉宫 I have somewhere else to go, but it's Peckham.
所以我想我还是留下来吧 So I think I'll stick around.
我不能让大家饿着 Can't let everyone starve.
而且我很担心 And I'm slightly worried
如果回到正常生活 where my increasingly powerful sexuality will take me
我日益高涨的性欲会冲昏我的头脑 when I return to normal life.
我强烈怀疑菲丽西提喜欢我 I've got a very strong suspicion that Felicity fancies me.
不管到哪 都记得把我带上 Not about to go anywhere, just when I'm in with a chance.
当然 我也加入 Obviously, I'm in.
你们是这世界上唯一喜欢我的人 You're the only people in the world who like me.
谢谢你们 先生们 女士 Thank you, gentlemen, lady.
还有奇怪的胡子兄 Strange bearded thing.
但是别出差错 他们会来抓我们的 But make no mistake, they will come after us.
让他们试试 Let them try.
忠实的听众朋友们 So, faithful followers,
节目即将结束 the end is nigh.
我们怀着高贵与自豪的心情向大家告别 We bid you farewell with dignity and pride.
我们以为我们是不死的电台 We thought we'd never die.
但是 我们斗不过政府 But, well, we can't fight city hall.
所以 大家多保重 And so, take care, be good.
能听到音乐是一件非常幸福的事 Listen to the music. It's a good thing to do.
这里是伯爵 It's the Count,
为大家倒数的最后时刻 counting down and out for the count at last.
3 2 1... Three, two, one...
剩下的只有一片沉寂 And the rest is silence.
谢谢你 亲爱的 谢谢你 亲爱的 当然 Thank you, darling. Thank you, darling. Sure.
做得好 特沃特 谢谢 先生 Well done, Twatt. Thank you, sir.
为了女王 还有陛下的政府 The Queen. Her Majesty's government.
为了女王 The Queen.
我开玩笑的 伙计 让我们摇滚起来! Only kidding, dudes. Let's rock!
放屁! 放屁! 他妈放屁! 把那个给我 Arse! Arse! What arse! Give me that.
有条船 你他妈在干嘛呢? It's a boat. What the fuck are you doing here?
她想要见一下叫卡尔的人 She asked to see someone called Carl.
是谁? Who asked?
她要求的 She did.
是她 It's her.
还有她! And her!
你们要上船吗? You want to come onboard?
要知道 来这里可是冒着要入狱的风险 You know, you're risking going to prison by being here.
是啊 够刺激! Yes, for fun!
这是我的朋友玛格丽特 她跟我一起来的 This is my friend Margaret. She came to keep me company.
嗨 嘿 Hi. Hey.
这是我朋友 伯爵先生 This is my friend, the Count.
恩 你好 玛格丽特 Well, hello, Margaret.
你想过会爱上一个 Do you think you could ever love
邋遢的傅满洲吗(在西方被视为邪恶化身) a man with a funky Fu Manchu?
不 没想过 No, I don't.
我能把胡子都挂了 还是不会 I could shave it. Still no.
我有3个月没有做过爱了 I haven't had sex in three months.
噢 天啊! 我很抱歉 Oh, my God! I'm so sorry.
实际上只有一个月 上一次是我自己解决的 Actually it's only been a month. The last time was by myself.
真艰难 在吊床上 Tough. By the hammock.
我为那晚的事情感到很抱歉 I'm very sorry about what I did that night.
不 不 没事 No, no, it's fine.
很显然 有谁会想跟我上床啊? I mean, obviously, who would wanna sleep with me?
那我们去试试吧 怎么样? Well, let's see, shall we?
我们可以 玩会儿拼图游戏 Well, we could, you know, play Scrabble,
如果你喜欢的 我讨厌拼图游戏 if you fancy it. I hate Scrabble.
我也是 绝对讨厌 厌恶至极 Me, too. Absolutely loathe it. Hate it.
还有一个叫"妙探寻凶"的... Cluedo, on the other hand, is...
凯文 出去 Kevin, out.
很高兴再次见到你 玛丽安 Lovely to see you again, Marianne.
我想我能不能... 抱歉 I guess if I just... Sorry.
不要紧 也许我们能这样躺下 No, it's fine. Maybe if we just lie like this.
想要来杯咖啡吗? Would you like a cup of tea?
好 这太... Yes, now that would be...
好了 Lovely.
太好了 Cool.
太好了 Lovely.
想要喝杯茶吗? Would you like a cup of tea?
茶很不错 A cup of tea would be lovely.
是的 大不列颠的女士们 先生们 And yes, ladies and gentlemen of Great Britain,
卡尔从他爱的小窝里出来啦 Carl has emerged from the Chamber of Love.
卡尔 跟我们一直热烈期待着能听到 Carl, say hello to the 20 million people
你消息的两千万听众打个招呼 who have been waiting with bated breath to hear the news,
你今晚到底有没有 whether or not you have indeed
品尝到禁果的滋味 misplaced your crucial cherry tonight.
你们这些家伙... You guys...
我想答案是肯定的! 是吗? I think that's a yes! Is that a yes?
记得 回复"我不想回答这个问题" 就代表默认了 Remember, the reply, " I don't wanna answer that question" means yes.
我当然不会回答这个问题... I'm certainly not gonna answer that question...
休斯顿基地 我们升空啦 Houston, we have lift-off.
太棒了! Bravo!
是的 新闻快递 一个很棒的小伙儿在北海上 Yes, newsflash. A nice young man has lost his virginity
失去了他的处男之身 之后将带来详细报道 in the North Sea. More soon on that breaking story.
早安 女士 早安 Morning, madam. Morning.
早安 早安 女士 Good morning. Good morning, madam.
女士们先生们 如果你们此刻能亲眼目睹 Ladies and gentlemen, if you could see what I see now.
英国的街道今晚就要彻夜狂欢了 There'll be dancing in the street all over the United Kingdom tonight.
摇滚起来吧! Rock 'n' roll!
卡尔 做得好! Carl, well done!
再见 Bye.
我们会想你们的 You'll be missed.
他来了 Here he is.
好了 我们度过了一个美妙的夜晚 All right, we had a good night.
但你们所看到的只不过是 But that thing you see shining through the window
冰冷黎明所透出了一丝光线 is the cold light of dawn.
我希望你们时刻记住 政府那帮人正在抓捕我们 And I don't want you all to imagine that they won't be coming after us
他们会动用一切法律手段把我们连根铲除 with the full force of the law to crush our testicles like grapes.
但是千万不要绝望 因为我很高兴地告诉大家 But don't despair completely, because I'm glad to tell you,
我现在有了一个很明确的小计划 I've come up with quite a clever little plan.
很好 大家鼓掌 Legend. All hands on deck.
你是我们的领袖 我希望能管用 Our leader. I just hope it works.
当然会起作用 Of course it'll work.
晚安 C小姐 晚安 先生 Good night, Miss C. Good night, sir.
终于要向摇滚电台发起总攻了 D-Day for Radio Rock at last.
的确 先生 Indeed, sir.
这个D代表着失聪 That's D for deaf.
既然他们都没打算自愿放弃 Since they're not ready to go willingly,
恐怕我们只能用一些"下三滥"的手段了 I'm afraid "very nasty" is our only option.
出来! Get out!
行动! Move!
抓住他们! Get at them!
甲板上没人! Deck's clear!
发现什么吗? 是的 先生 Found anything? Yes, sir.
什么? 你发现了什么? What? What have you found?
呃 全是鱼 先生 什么? Well, fish, sir. I beg your pardon?
全部都是鱼 Mainly fish.
需要帮忙吗 长官? Can I help you, Officer?
当然需要 是的 You certainly can, yes.
你们在这船上干嘛? 捕鱼 长官 What the hell are you doing here? Fishing, sir.
我是说 你们在这条船上干嘛? I mean, what are you doing here?
摇滚电台就是在这条船上不停地播音 Here, where the Radio Rock ship always is and always has been anchored.
没怎么听说过啊 那是条什么船? Can't say it rings a bell, sir. What kind of boat is she?
抓龙虾的 捕鳕鱼的 还是金枪鱼? Lobster, cod, tuna?
你他妈闭嘴! Shut the fuck up!
这明显是个幌子 那艘船已经逃走了 This is obviously a trick and she's scarpered.
别得意忘形 你这个叼船长 Now don't you get cocky, Captain Bird's Eye.
我们会找到那些混蛋的 到那时 We are going to find these bastards, and when we do,
我们会一棒子把他们给敲死! we are going to smash them!
大家撤吧! 我们他妈的弄错船了! Everybody out! We've got the wrong damn boat!
我们几年前就该起航了 We should have set sail years ago.
你真聪明 这是非常明智的计划 You're a very clever man. This is a very good plan.
刚才那是什么? What the fuck was that?
女士们 先生们 请原谅我的粗鲁 Pardon my French, ladies and gentlemen.
摇滚电台稍作休息 We've got a small hiccup onboard Radio Rock.
现在给大家送上的是小脸孔乐队的作品 I now return you to The Small Faces.
看上去有点异常 但是我敢肯定 It did look a bit unusual, but I'm sure that...
先生们 我有一个好消息跟一个坏消息 Gentlemen, I have some good news and some bad news.
你们要先听哪个? Which would you prefer?
先听好消息 让我们听点好消息 The good news. Let's have a bit of good news.
好消息 Good news.
先听好消息 好的 Good news. Okay.
好消息是引擎爆炸了 我们都要死了 The good news is the engine has exploded and we're all going to die.
不错 很好 Right. Perfect.
他开玩笑的吧? 嘿 Is he joking? Hello.
摇滚电台的戴夫医生 这算什么好消息? Dr Dave, Radio Rock. How is that good news?
我还没有告诉大家我们的死法 I haven't yet told you how we're going to die.
这才是坏消息 That's the bad news.
我们要怎么死法? How are we gonna die?
我们会在北海冰冷的海水中溺水身亡 We're going to drown in the freezing waters of the North Sea.
靠 我的亲娘 Shit. Dearie me.
船侧面开了一个大洞 There is a huge hole in the side of the boat
而且不幸的是 and in an unfortunate development,
救生艇也派不上用场 it transpires that the lifeboats are useless.
实际上 这对你来说也算好事 不是吗? Actually, that's quite good for you, isn't it?
你不会游泳 会死得更快一点 'Cause you can't swim, so you'll die quicker.
对不起 亲爱的 Sorry. Dear.
好了 好了 好了 All right. All right. All right. All right.
我要去播音室 I'm going to the studio.
哈罗德 约翰 都快过来 Harold, John, up here now.
好的 我们来了 我们都不会有事的 Yeah, we're coming. This isn't going to happen.
摇滚电台 约翰·马福德为你送上最新快讯 A Radio Rock newsflash with John Mayford.
举世闻名的摇滚电台 在船只的一侧 News coming in that the famous Radio Rock
开了一个大洞 并且正在北海中逐渐下沉 has a large hole in its side and is therefore sinking into the North Sea.
下沉速度很快 Really quite fast.
我们出了一点小问题 So, a tiny crisis here.
那么 如果谁知道有人在萨福克附近 So, if any of you out there knows anyone in Suffolk
驾船行驶的话 给他们打个电话 with a boat of any shape or form, give them a ring.
我们的坐标是 北纬53-70度 Our coordinates are 53-70 north...
抱歉 Sorry.
东经250度 250 east.
接下来是漫长的音乐时间 Here's a rather long record.
我希望能在这里坚守到最后 I hope I'm here at the end of it.
别担心 政府不会真的让我们死掉的 Don't worry. The government won't actually let us die.
他们肯定会派船来救援 They'll have to send out boats.
他们听到了我们说的每句誓言 They've heard every swearword we've ever spoken.
他们必须救起五月花号 They'll have to pick up a Mayday.
不管怎么样 我们该走了 快点 Nevertheless, we should move. Come on.
我不确定我们是否在正确的时间 I'm not sure we're in the right place
出现在一个正确的地点 at the right time.
你没事吧? 你走错路了 哥们儿 You all right? You're going the wrong way, mate.
我被吓坏了 还有人被吓坏了吗? I'm really scared. Isn't anyone else really scared?
是有点 快上去 A bit. Up you go.
外国人 没种 Foreigners. No backbone.
什么事? Yes?
很抱歉这么晚来打搅你 先生 I'm sorry to have to disturb you this late, sir.
看在上帝的份上 你有什么事? What's your want, for heaven's sake?
事态现在很严重 先生 It really is getting quite serious now, sir.
我要请求派船对他们进行救援 I'm asking permission to send our boats back to pick them up.
绝对不行 Absolutely not.
我没法接受这份额外的开支 I absolutely could not justify the extra expenditure
作为政府部门 我们在国内外都有很多其他的 when there are so many other problems we need money for as a government
需要用钱处理的问题 both home and abroad.
他们会死掉的 先生 They might die, sir.
这样最好不过了 特沃特 Happens to the best of us, Twatt.
对我们来说再好不过了 Happens to the very best of us.
晚安 Nighty-night.
噢 坐着 你没事吧? 西蒙 你有... Whoa, there, are you okay? Simon, have you got a...
好的 马克 做得好 进来 Okay. Mark, well done. Come in.
还是穿着那条裤子 真不赖 And in those trousers. Not bad.
谢谢你 约翰 那么我们在这里暂时会比较安全 Thank you, John. So, we'll be safe here for a while.
船长认为在像泰坦尼克一样沉没之前 The captain thinks we've got till dawn
我们还有一丝希望 before we go the full Titanic.
我们向政府发出了求救信号 We've sent out an official distress call.
我肯定很快就会有人来救我们的 And I'm sure someone will rescue us soon.
真的吗? 是真的吗? Really? Really? Yeah?
我们不会有事 是真的 We're all right. Really.
我们不会有事的 We're all right.
我能说两句吗? Can I just say something, then?
我知道我不是船上最受欢迎的人 I know I'm not the most popular guy on the boat.
播音也一般般 On the radio I'm fine.
我知道听众给我的反响也不是很好 In the flesh it's something that people just don't warm to. I know.
我只是想说 在我呆在这的三年里 But I just wanna say, the three years here,
比我这一生都更加接近真正的友谊 I've been closer to finding friendship than I've ever been in my life.
我宁愿为友谊而亡 And I'd rather have had that and die
而不是行尸走肉般地活着 than not have had it and lived. I think.
也许不是 不 这就是事实 Maybe not. No, actually.
别这样 我只是... Come on. I just...
你一直很搞笑 You're being ridiculous.
好吧 但是我不出众 听着 这不是... Well, I'm not popular. Look, this isn't...
不 只是...每个群体都需要一个吊车尾的 No, that's... Every group needs a fall guy,
当然 你就是这么一个角色 and yeah, sure, you've been it.
其实不是的... 我只不过开个玩笑 你知道吧? But it's not... It's just been a joke. You know?
大家说说 实际上每个喜欢这个笨瓜的人 I mean, lookit, everybody who actually loves this nut, huh?
都会为有这样一个朋友而感到自豪 不是么? And is proud as can be to count him in the number of their friends,
同意的举手 just raise their hands.
看到吗? 看到吗? 瞧瞧 See? Okay? There we go.
大卫? David?
诚实一点 Be honest.
什么? 好吧 What? Okay.
鲍勃呢? Where's Bob?
去你们的... 我撒谎了 Get the... I'm lying.
等等 鲍勃去哪? Wait a minute. Where's Bob?
他摔到冰窟窿里了 大伙儿 鲍勃! He fell on ice. Guys, Bob!
我爸爸去哪? Where's my dad?
那我们等等 谁还在播音? We'll wait another minute. So who's broadcasting?
没人 No one.
中波203频道首次停播 203 metres on the medium waveband is silent for the first time.
别介意我说的话 让那些通道去死吧 先生 Well, excuse my language, but fuck that sideways, sir.
哈罗德 你先走 Harold, after you.
鲍勃! Bob!
爸爸? 别紧张 Dad? Easy.
别紧张 我只不过在听"感恩而死"的新专辑 Easy. Just listening to a new track by the Grateful Dead.
我得关掉它 I'm gonna have to stop it.
嘿 别那样 别关掉 Hey, don't do that. Don't do that.
伙计 你这有点打搅私人空间了 That's a bit of a space invasion, man.
问题是 鲍勃 船正在下沉 Well, the thing is, Bob, the boat is actually sinking,
如果你把这些歌都听完 你就淹死了 and if you listen to the end of this track, you will die.
我们走 Let's go.
小心那个洞 Mind the hole.
哦 不 Oh, no.
谢了 哥们 没关系 Thanks, man. You're welcome.
这里 跟我走 你想干嘛? Here. Come to me. What are you doing?
我为一个晚上睡了你女友两次感到很惭愧 I'm feeling guilty about sleeping with your girlfriend twice in a night.
是三次 如果你算上... 嘿 鲍勃 嘿 Three times if you count a... Hey, Bob. Hey.
亲爱的 这张唱片不行 什么? Dear. That is not a good record. What?
我想我们该赶紧出去了 快点 I think it's time we got the fuck out of here. Come on.
所有的听众朋友们 我想说 To all our listeners, this is what I have to say.
上帝与你们同在 God bless you all.
至于政府部门的那些混蛋 别做梦了 都结束了 And as for you bastards in charge, don't dream it's over.
日复一日 年复一年 Years will come, years will go,
政治家会尽力让这个世界变得美好 and politicians will do fuck all to make the world a better place.
但世界各地的年轻朋友们 But all over the world, young men and young women
还会有梦想 并且为梦想而歌唱 will always dream dreams and put those dreams into song.
今晚没有什么重要人物会死去 Nothing important dies tonight.
只不过是艘破船上的一群烂人而已 Just a few ugly guys on a crappy ship.
今晚唯一的遗憾是 在以后的时间里 The only sadness tonight is that, in future years,
我们不能再为大家播放 there'll be so many fantastic songs
这么多美妙的歌曲了 that it will not be our privilege to play.
但是 绝对要相信 好歌不会断 But, believe you me, they will still be written.
它们会继续被传唱 并且会成为这世上的奇迹 They will still be sung and they will be the wonder of the world.
唱起来吧! Hit it!
我想我们最好快离开 I think we better go.
嗯 去忙你们的吧 Okay. Do what you gotta do.
小鸡 Chicken.
去吧 哈罗德 Go ahead, Harold.
快上来 鲍勃 不错 你好 鲍勃 Come on up, Bob. Well done. Hello, Bob.
见鬼! Shit!
我想我们真的要死了 I think we're actually going to die.
为什么? Why?
我等会儿再解释 I'll explain later.
那么... So...
马克 在这生命的最后时刻 和我们说说 Tell us, Mark, now at the very end.
你的秘诀是什么? What was your secret?
你是怎么把那些妞都泡到手的? 简单 How did you get all them girls? Simple.
什么话都不说 Don't say anything at all.
沉默? 是的 Nothing? Nothing.
然后 当气氛变得有点压抑的时候 Then, when the tension becomes too much to bear,
你最后 只要说... you finally, finally, you just say...
"我们做吧 怎么样?" "How about it, then?"
"我们做吧 怎么样" "我们做吧 怎么样" "How about it, then?" "How about it, then?"
"我们做吧 怎么样?" 屡试不爽 "How about it, then?" Works every time.
卧槽! Fuck!
我们做吧? 那我们现在该怎么做? How about it? Well, how about this?
我们现在要怎么办? How about this situation here?
马克 快想办法救我们! 我们要死啦! Try and fuck your way out of this one, Mark! We're gonna die!
加油 哈罗德! Come on, Harold!
我们会得到永生的! We are gonna live forever!
这里才是聚会的好地方 加文! So this is where the party is. Gavin!
哥们 快上来 放松 很高兴见到你 哥们 Dude, come on up. Relax, Good to see you, mate.
歇会儿 enjoy yourself.
加油 抓住 Come on. Hold on.
伯爵呢 有人见到伯爵了吗? And the Count. Any sign of the Count?
没有 No.
这...越来越糟了 It's not... It's not getting better.
要死了! 我们要死了! This is it! We are gonna die!
等等! Wait!
怎么了? 有船! What? A boat!
多大? 多大的船? How big? How big a bloody boat?
实际上不止一艘船 It's not actually just one boat.
有两艘 三艘 Two boats. Three boats.
比三艘还要多那么一丁点 It's ever so slightly more than three boats.
有多少艘? How many boats?
严格意义上来说 是一大堆船 I think the technical term is a fuckload of boats.
还有更多! There's more!
到处都是! They're everywhere!
马克! Mark!
快上船! Get in the boat!
坚持住 加文! Hang on. Gavin!
我们走! 我们走! Let's go! Let's go!
加文! Gavin!
1 2 3... One, two, three...
好吧 肯定还有其他办法的! All right, there must be another way!
1 2 3... One, two, three...
安格斯... 我不想下去! Angus... I don't want to go!
跟紧我 那是水 我不会... Follow me. It's water, I can't...
跳下去就好了! 不! You just jump! No!
安格斯! Angus!
马克! Mark!
他在那里! 他在那里! There he is! There he is!
安格斯! 救命! Angus! Help me!
在这里! Over here!
快抓住! Grab it!
鲍勃! Bob!
鲍勃 这里! 快来! Bob, over here! Come here!
继续游! Keep swimming!
鲍勃! 鲍勃! Bob! Bob!
把手给我 谢谢你们 Give me your hand. Thank you.
太谢谢你们了 你们真好 Thanks very much, very good of you.
把手给我 Give me your hand.
我们抓住他了! 谢谢你们 We've got him! Thank you.
让我看看你 你太帅了 Let me look at you. You're gorgeous.
安格斯! 太好了! 我还活着! Angus! Yes! I'm alive!
西蒙! Simon!
快来 我们一起去洗个热水澡! Come over and we'll have a warm bath!
玛格丽特! Margaret!
继续游 你做得很棒! Keep swimming, you're doing really well!
卡尔! 玛丽安! Carl! Marianne!
卡尔! Carl!
能见到你太好了 It's lovely to meet you.
谢谢 Thank you.
如果你有个三长两短的 I don't know what I would have done
我都不知道该怎么办了! if anything would've happened to you!
我每天早上都要听你的节目 I listen to your show every single morning.
你叫什么? 我爱你 Who are you? I love you.
我的名字在你的咪咪上 My name is on your boobies.
噢 天啊! Oh, my God!
冷静点 大家都有机会跟戴夫医生合影 Calm down. There's plenty of Dr Dave to go around.
太好了! Yeah!
伙计! My man!
太好了 哥们! Yeah, man!
摇滚万岁! Rock 'n' roll!
宝贝 这才叫摇滚! That's rock 'n' roll, baby!
摇滚万岁! Rock 'n' roll!
8点到11点档 凯文·卡瓦纳记录道 8:00 till 11:00, Gavin Kavanagh, and it says here,
"地球上最酷的男人" "Coolest man on the planet."
很奇怪 这是他本人的笔迹 And that is, strangely, in his own handwriting.
有些人说他们根本就不会去听 Some people say that they don't bother listening to it.
谁说的? 戴夫说他很不喜欢这样 Who says that? Well, Dave said that he didn't really like it.
那就是他干的 And he did that.
是啊 实际上 那些闪啊闪的 Yeah. Actually, from out there they glint
让你看上去更加邪恶 and make you look sort of satanic.
一会儿见 约翰 好的 See you later, John. Okay.
那么 亚瑟·斯·曼彻博士 很有趣的名字 So, Dr Arthur Sea Measure. That's an interesting name.
你介意我把你简称为博士吗? Do you mind if I just call you Doctor For Short?
好的 没问题 Yes, that's fine.
好的 那么 简称博士 跟我们说说 海洋学家... Good. So, Doctor For Short, tell us, oceanographer...
戴夫医生 没那么疯疯颠颠 Dr Dave. Not quite so nutty,
却能满足你们的医疗需求 but good for your medical requirements.
你至今单身一点也不让我觉得奇怪 It does not surprise me that you are single.
昨天在博尔顿的反战演示交流会上... Yesterday's anti-war demonstrations in Bolton...
今天天气比较潮湿 嘿 我正试着不要... Today will be mainly wet. Hey... I'm trying not to...
我不是那个意思 不是吗? I didn't mean what I said. You didn't?
不 我知道你人不错 No, I think you're a good guy and you're a good egg, you know?
谢谢 Thanks.
真是个笨瓜 What a prick.
你是拉拉真可惜了 It's a shame you're a lezzer.
不然我肯定对你着迷 I would be nuts deep.
我今天节目的话题是传播爱的麦克风 I'm gonna talk into the microphone of love.
他们第一张专辑取名为灵魂 And that was Spirit from their first album entitled,
不要觉得惊讶 是灵魂 not surprisingly, Spirit.
他开始了 他开始做了! He's doing it. He's doing it!
你们都看不见 他刚刚用他右脚靴子上的古巴跟 You can't see this, but he has just clicked on this record
敲打了唱片 with the right boot of his Cuban heel.
太棒了 Very nice.
你就是这么做的 是吧? That's how you do it, isn't it?
谢了 哈哥 接下来是什么? Cheers, H. What's next?